open post version 2.

[docwithablog]

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[acutereasoner]

[...Oh goddamn it he just left himself open for a very scathing and obvious rebuttable.]

John, no.

I know what you're about to say, I realized it the moment I texted what I did, so you can stop typing.



John.



John if I read the words irony or hypocrisy within the next thirty seconds, I'm blocking your number.

[docwithablog]

Don't worry, I have absolutely nothing to add to this conversation. You said it brilliantly yourself.

[acutereasoner]

It's your turn to be insufferable now, is it?

[docwithablog]

I have to live up to you somehow.

[acutereasoner]

After the lecture I was just given, are you certain you should really be following my example?

[docwithablog]

For all that you're a self-destructive cock, Sherlock, you're still rather incredible. Let that be said in the spirit of full disclosure.

[acutereasoner]

Despite our years of intimate association, the standards by which you deem others incredible continue to elude me.

My only conclusion is that you've somehow managed to avoid all mirrors, reflective surfaces, and thoughts of a self-introspecting nature for nearly four decades.

[docwithablog]

Trust me, I know I'm incredible, too. Otherwise I wouldn't have endured all these years in the company of the world's perhaps most annoying dick.

Luckily the good heavily outweighs the bad, here.

[acutereasoner]

My Blushes, John.

The "perhaps" was really quite generous of you.

[docwithablog]

There are people who annoy me more, but then again, I don't live with them, do I?

[acutereasoner]

I wager I would annoy you quite a bit less if you hadn't so deeply invested yourself in my physical well-being, compulsive doctor that you are.

[Actually it's just a general friend thing not a doctor thing, but Sherlock hasn't had enough experience with either to really know.]

[docwithablog]

Yes, that's what I am.

[ The term you're looking for is friend, Sherlock, look it up. ]

Your doctor.

[acutereasoner]

Considering how rarely I follow your medical advice, you are arguably only my doctor in the possessive since.

[Not that he means to imply he has any claim over John, or that he feels he belongs to him in some small way, heaven forbid.]

We ought to think of a more accurate title. My Doctor is misleading; while admirable I would hardly consider it your most valuable quality. Rather, you have a singular talent for illumination, for casting out the shadows that so often muddy the waters of my mind.

In that fashion, you are not so much my doctor as you are my conductor of light.

[docwithablog]

Okay, first off, let's not tell anyone that you call me that or they'll all start thinking they're right about us.

Secondly. Thank you. Being nice suits you, Sherlock, you should consider doing it more often.

[acutereasoner]

I will give the thought due consideration if you, in turn, consider why wild speculation as to the particulars of our relationship is such a cause of concern for you.

[docwithablog]

Let's turn it on its head, instead. Why isn't it for you?

1/2

[acutereasoner]

Oh, where to begin?

Firstly, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly bothered by the impressions and opinions others have of me. So long as their suppositions are not libelous or offensive to my character, they are not worth consideration.

Second, I can see precisely how the average observer might have come to the conclusion. Erroneous though it is, the logic behind it is sound, and so it is inoffensive to my sensibilities as a detective.

2/2

[acutereasoner]

Lastly, I am not entirely opposed to the notion of engaging another man in sexual congress, and so it would be rather hypocritical of me to take offense to speculation regarding whether or not your cock has been in my person, or vice versa.

[docwithablog]

I would say it's all fine and mean it, but I think my eyes are bleeding from how hard I'm -- well, blushing right now, Sherlock.

[acutereasoner]

By the hypothetical or my uncharacteristically blunt use of the word cock?.

[John is absolutely endearing when he's flustered, and if he hasn't figured that out by now, Sherlock will just have to keep pressing the issue until he realizes.]

Had I known your sensibilities were so delicate I would have chosen my words more carefully.

[docwithablog]

Can we -- I don't know, stop discussing this and return our attention to your cigarette addiction? Far safer. I don't mean safer as in -- I mean. Could you be helpful for just a second and get me out of this one with my dignity intact?

[acutereasoner]

Please, John, don't be so dramatic.

[Rich, coming from him.]

I assure you, your dignity has survived far worse than an uncomfortable conversation.


You never did answer my question, by the by.

[docwithablog]

Okay, good, great -- can you repeat it?

[acutereasoner]

Well, it's not so much my question, really - it was yours. I was working under the assumption that you would follow up my answer with your own.

[Only in Sherlock's world are silent expectations considered the same as verbalized questions.]

I said I was unbothered by the speculation regarding the nature of our relationship, you asked why, and I gave my reasons.

That you did not follow with your own thoughts on the matter is somewhat contrary to the give-and-take nature of conversation.

[docwithablog]

You want my thoughts? Okay, well, fine.

I dislike people assuming -- things about my sexuality that are, under no circumstances, their bloody business anyway. Besides, I have a lesbian sister, remember? I've seen what people usually mean when they talk about someone being gay and it's rarely based on anything but stereotypes and demeaning prejudice. Why would I want to be associated with a --- in my case even fake identity that has so many negative connotations? Hell, had I been gay, which I'm not, I'd have to do some spectacular mental wriggling to fit into that -- term.

Whatever it may imply about us, Sherlock, my issue is 100% more related to what it implies about me.