open post version 2.

[docwithablog]

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[acutereasoner]

My Blushes, John.

The "perhaps" was really quite generous of you.

[docwithablog]

There are people who annoy me more, but then again, I don't live with them, do I?

[acutereasoner]

I wager I would annoy you quite a bit less if you hadn't so deeply invested yourself in my physical well-being, compulsive doctor that you are.

[Actually it's just a general friend thing not a doctor thing, but Sherlock hasn't had enough experience with either to really know.]

[docwithablog]

Yes, that's what I am.

[ The term you're looking for is friend, Sherlock, look it up. ]

Your doctor.

[acutereasoner]

Considering how rarely I follow your medical advice, you are arguably only my doctor in the possessive since.

[Not that he means to imply he has any claim over John, or that he feels he belongs to him in some small way, heaven forbid.]

We ought to think of a more accurate title. My Doctor is misleading; while admirable I would hardly consider it your most valuable quality. Rather, you have a singular talent for illumination, for casting out the shadows that so often muddy the waters of my mind.

In that fashion, you are not so much my doctor as you are my conductor of light.

[docwithablog]

Okay, first off, let's not tell anyone that you call me that or they'll all start thinking they're right about us.

Secondly. Thank you. Being nice suits you, Sherlock, you should consider doing it more often.

[acutereasoner]

I will give the thought due consideration if you, in turn, consider why wild speculation as to the particulars of our relationship is such a cause of concern for you.

[docwithablog]

Let's turn it on its head, instead. Why isn't it for you?

1/2

[acutereasoner]

Oh, where to begin?

Firstly, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly bothered by the impressions and opinions others have of me. So long as their suppositions are not libelous or offensive to my character, they are not worth consideration.

Second, I can see precisely how the average observer might have come to the conclusion. Erroneous though it is, the logic behind it is sound, and so it is inoffensive to my sensibilities as a detective.

2/2

[acutereasoner]

Lastly, I am not entirely opposed to the notion of engaging another man in sexual congress, and so it would be rather hypocritical of me to take offense to speculation regarding whether or not your cock has been in my person, or vice versa.

[docwithablog]

I would say it's all fine and mean it, but I think my eyes are bleeding from how hard I'm -- well, blushing right now, Sherlock.

[acutereasoner]

By the hypothetical or my uncharacteristically blunt use of the word cock?.

[John is absolutely endearing when he's flustered, and if he hasn't figured that out by now, Sherlock will just have to keep pressing the issue until he realizes.]

Had I known your sensibilities were so delicate I would have chosen my words more carefully.

[docwithablog]

Can we -- I don't know, stop discussing this and return our attention to your cigarette addiction? Far safer. I don't mean safer as in -- I mean. Could you be helpful for just a second and get me out of this one with my dignity intact?

[acutereasoner]

Please, John, don't be so dramatic.

[Rich, coming from him.]

I assure you, your dignity has survived far worse than an uncomfortable conversation.


You never did answer my question, by the by.

[docwithablog]

Okay, good, great -- can you repeat it?

[acutereasoner]

Well, it's not so much my question, really - it was yours. I was working under the assumption that you would follow up my answer with your own.

[Only in Sherlock's world are silent expectations considered the same as verbalized questions.]

I said I was unbothered by the speculation regarding the nature of our relationship, you asked why, and I gave my reasons.

That you did not follow with your own thoughts on the matter is somewhat contrary to the give-and-take nature of conversation.

[docwithablog]

You want my thoughts? Okay, well, fine.

I dislike people assuming -- things about my sexuality that are, under no circumstances, their bloody business anyway. Besides, I have a lesbian sister, remember? I've seen what people usually mean when they talk about someone being gay and it's rarely based on anything but stereotypes and demeaning prejudice. Why would I want to be associated with a --- in my case even fake identity that has so many negative connotations? Hell, had I been gay, which I'm not, I'd have to do some spectacular mental wriggling to fit into that -- term.

Whatever it may imply about us, Sherlock, my issue is 100% more related to what it implies about me.

[acutereasoner]

[Ah. Right.]

[Bit not good, this.]

[A bit very not good at all.]

John, anyone who would think a disparaging thought about you for any reason other than your questionable taste in jumpers is an imbecile who doesn't bear consideration.

To dictate yourself in accordance with their views seems rather like allowing the inmates to run the asylum.

Let the world imply what they will, and stand taller knowing you're denying them the satisfaction of being forced to deny yourself.

Alternately, take up boxing and express your feelings with a solid right cross. It's quite a bit more satisfying, if I may speak from experience.

[docwithablog]

[ He's staring at the phone for a long time. Then, a huff of laughter and a shake of his head that Sherlock can neither hear nor see. ]

I don't know how good an idea I think it is, suggesting that I begin punching people for their presumption, but to be completely honest, boxing does sound like an efficient solution to all my problems.

[ And the rest of it, Sherlock? Will go completely ignored. Like it was never said at all. Let's speak no more of this. ]

[acutereasoner]

[Sherlock may not have the lion's share when it comes to social graces, but he knows when to let a subject drop - besides, he's said all he needed to. John will benefit more from rumination than conversation at this point.]

Regrettably, it tends to cause nearly as many problems as it solves, but a bit of trouble is often the price which must be paid for catharsis.

[Case in point: basically everything Sherlock does.]

[docwithablog]

Fine, maybe I'll come with you next time you go.

[acutereasoner]

You'd best get ready then.

Nicotine withdrawal tends to rouse my affinity for pugilism.

[docwithablog]

But not your use of completely normal words like boxing.

I'll be ready when you are.

[acutereasoner]

Bold of you to assume I'm not ready at this very moment. And waiting outside your door, I might add.

[Is he really, or is he just giving John guff? Sherlock isn't about to say, so there's only one way for him to find out.]

[docwithablog]

Show-off.

[ And he goes to check, just because. For all he knows, Sherlock's amazing like that. ]