docwithablog

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[ A brief moment follows in which Sherlock tenses up in response and John is wavering between a cold-dread fear that he might have overstepped his boundaries, that he's got it wrong (God knows how often that happens, after all, around the other man) and a more insistent feeling of -- oh no, you don't, Sherlock Holmes, you don't get to have wet dreams about him, setting this entire -- thing into motion and then recoil when he finally works up the courage to -- do what he should probably have done to Andrew Beck first, some thirty years earlier or that Sholto should definitely have done to him back then, in Afghanistan. Oh no, you don't. His fingers tighten in Sherlock's windbreaker, the sheer overwhelming onslaught of sensations, having the man this close, basically flooding him. His scent in John's nostrils, the curve of his stupid bottom lip (biteable), the first heated puff of breath --

Then, finally, finally, Sherlock seems to relax into it, raising his hand, curling his fingers gently into John's hair, fingertips brushing over his scalp and that's -- nice, that's touch and it's nice and Sherlock's pressing back now, his lips feeling warm and somehow familiar, despite how they've by no stretch (except of his imagination) done this before. This -- kissing -- thing.

He's kissing Sherlock. No, really. He's kissing Sherlock.

John exhales slowly, evenly through his nose and inclines his head a bit, because the angle's sort of off, it would be better if -- he runs his hand up Sherlock's chest, wind jacket smooth and cool beneath his palm, the contrast between the fabric and Sherlock's skin, as his fingertips make contact with the side of the other man's neck, stark. He follows the slope of it slowly, very unashamedly feeling him out, his fingers connecting with the line of the man's jaw, strong, very -- strong. Okay, that's good, that's -- good.

Pressing closer and parting his lips a bit, mostly to feel the slide of his own bottom lip over Sherlock's, soft, he tries to curb the hunger of it, because they're not in a hurry, he's not going to rush it, he's going to bloody well indulge until Sherlock at some point gets tired of waiting which will probably happen, let's be real, first things first. Until then, this is great, it's fine.

Yeah, it's going to be fine. ]

[ Naturally, his mind chooses this moment to zoom out. Though he doesn't open his eyes, he can't help but imagine the two of them from an outside perspective - John, with his fingers running up the slope of his neck (soft fingers, warm, gentle, oh), Sherlock cradling the back of his head, the kiss altogether gentle, in a way people would never expect from them. The idea of it, of them, of this exact moment, makes his whole body tingle, skin prickling and heating up and he's flushing slightly, he can feel it along and across the bridge of his nose. He sighs into the kiss, parting his lips when John does, mostly because he doesn't quite know what he's doing and following suit seems the thing to do.

He couldn't imagine kissing John, back during his time away. He couldn't. He could picture the man touching him with relative ease - considering their day-to-day activities back in London, it was merely a matter of sufficient extrapolation - but this? Not this. Leaning in just a bit, he takes another second, then another, then another, just to be certain. To leave it memorized, in case... well. In case.

Then, eyelashes fluttering open, he finally looks at John, gaze tracking the shadows currently painted across his features. Though every instinct in him is screaming not to, to prolong, he draws away slowly, hand falling away from John's head with what has to be very, very obvious reluctance. He doesn't know what to say and consequently, doesn't. Instead, he settles back in his seat once again, running his fingertips very gently across his lips, feeling out the slight wetness there and marveling at it inwardly. ]

[ The fact that Sherlock follows is an interesting contrast to how they usually -- well, work. Usually Sherlock's the one to take the lead and it's John who's struggling (panting, stumbling, running, always running) to keep up, come along as the other man tells him often enough. Now, Sherlock sighs into the kiss, parting his lips in response to John doing so first and it's nice, like this, it's good it -- works, definitely works. John's thumb runs along the prominent jut of the other man's jawline, acquainting himself with the texture of his skin, because all he knew until this moment, let's be real, was how pale he tends to be, how he can look absolutely pasty and malnourished at his worst, not that he's in any way engaging Doctor Watson right now.

John's allowed a couple of seconds more, then -- as predicted, Sherlock draws back (yeah, first, this time) and lets his hand drop (rather reluctantly, he gets it, sentiment) from the back of John's head, really, a shame, a crying shame, John's skin feeling all tingly and overheated in the wake of it, where Sherlock touched him. Bloody burning fingerprints along his scalp, thank you. Sherlock settles back in his seat, touching his mouth softly and John leans back as well, hands resting in his lap while he just watches the other man. Fingers to his lips. A red flush spreading across the bridge of his nose and -- that's very endearing, actually, didn't know Sherlock had it in him, well done. Very well done.

Licking his lips, Sherlock's taste still unmistakably there, John looks out the window, then back at the other man, frowning slightly. They are going to talk about this, right? John clears his throat, settles back in his seat, looking at Sherlock out the corner of his eye. Licking his lips again, almost obsessively. ]

I think -- [ Lick. Lick. ] -- we should do that more often.

[ There's a moment of silence, broken only by John's more-than-occasional lip-licking and the peripheral sounds of London hurtling by outside the car windows. The taste of John feels vivid along the lines of his lips, transferred to his fingertips where it lingers. He can't remember feeling this light-hearted for... months. Years.

There's just something about kissing John Watson that makes him inexplicably happy.

At John's comment, he glances sideways. Drops his hand into his lap, though he can't quite help rubbing his fingertips together, thinking about John's molecules, spreading against his skin. ]

Do you? [ Pause. Re-wind. That sounded doubtful which - no, not in the least. Sherlock looks away, the red flush around his nose spreading slightly down the sides of his cheeks. ] Then, we should. Yes. Do that.

[ It's a surreal situation, sitting here, talking about kissing John again, as a repeat, because they've just bloody well done it and he can't, it's absurd. So, he killed himself in front of John, left him to grieve for two years, got himself captured and interrogated quite unnecessarily and returns, as he is (what is left), and now... He frowns. Clasps his fingers together a bit convulsively, then starts cracking the joints on his left. Noisily. Belatedly, he realises that this will probably break the romantic air very efficiently and this, in turn, confuses him because 1) there's a romantic air? and 2) what if there isn't? and 3) did he just ruin something or merely reveal its flaws? Crack, goes his little finger. ]

[ Then, we should, says Sherlock, ever so perceptive, supposedly. For fuck's sake.

The other man adds to the altogether unromantic atmosphere by clasping his hands and -- yes, good, wonderful, starting to crack his joints very noisily and very annoyingly, but what the hell did you expect, it's Sherlock, Sherlock wouldn't know what romance was if it -- bit his bottom lip which, John can assure you, it was very, very close to doing, let's be real.

This is where it dawns on him. That although he just kissed Sherlock, nothing's -- absolutely nothing's changed, the man's still a first class idiot who makes stupid remarks and acts inappropriately (cold reading people and sniffing smoke by proxy, what have you) and the really, really interesting thing is, of course, that John honestly wouldn't have him any differently. Sherlock's come back from war and he's changed, the way soldiers do, but he hasn't changed beyond recognition which, perhaps, only becomes very evident at this moment, between them, like this.

How they're the same. Down to -- ]

Stop that, seriously.

[ John raises an eyebrow, a great, sweeping arch and scoffs, reaching out with his right hand blindly, but his aim was always excellent, yes, and grabbing Sherlock's left hand, closing his fingers around his wrist, brushing his fingertips up the palm of it before simply -- interlacing their fingers, like it's no big deal (because it shouldn't be) and like it's a everyday occurrence (as it should be, rightly) while looking out the window on his side of the car, London a light-scape, a neon jungle. Lots of crime, out there.

Though, crime's only half of it. Obviously. ]

[ He doesn't predict it, though potentially, one ought to be capable of foreseeing everything, down to the slightest little ripple through cosmos. As it is, however, Sherlock is wholly unprepared for the way John grabs onto his hand, the brush of his fingertips against his palm (softness, again, and a tingle of pleasure, rushing up his ulnar nerve) - and then, the lacing of their fingers, just. Like that. Take my hand, his own voice echoes in his head, and then, louder yet, John's rapid throwback (now people will definitely talk) and yet, here they are, in a cab, holding hands. It feels like ages ago, too. They were different people back then, weren't they.

Sherlock looks at his hand, interlaced with John's, the heat of the other man's skin seemingly slipping beneath his own and fusing with his very nerves. He feels warm through and through, shoulders devoid of tension and body lax in his seat, almost as if he could go to sleep like this. He can't, obviously. His mind couldn't possibly let him. But perhaps, once they get back to Baker Street and go to sleep (together), he'll be the one to reach out and clasp John's hand, to let them both rest.

With a soft smile, briefly there, quickly gone, he leaves his hand in John's dependable care, looks away and lets his mind wander as it wishes, dwelling on nothing in particular, the sensation of holding and being held overriding all other inputs. He shouldn't encourage sentiment - see where it left them last time! - but on the other hand, he's returned to John on the basis of nothing but sentiment, just as John's taken him back on that basis, too. It... is what it is. ]

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