docwithablog: (is it lovey dovey stuff)
Dr John Watson ([personal profile] docwithablog) wrote2019-01-22 04:16 pm
Entry tags:

open post.






( TEXTS )
( AUDIO )
( VISUAL )
( PROMPTS )



acuriousincident: (7)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's not in fact looking out of the window - rather, he's staring at the small bubbles of air inside the glass, the tracks of dirt, remnants of ozone collecting along the frame, gaze fixating on all the tiny, useless details. It doesn't lead him to any conclusions, not as such (needs scrubbing, too much soil to wash it straight away, potential draining problems at length, mould experiments?), his attention split between this micro-cosmos and the feel of John's presence in the room, growing steadfastly more acute. He's about to reach out for the windowsill, just to get a grip om something, when John puts his hand against the small of his back, leans in and runs his lips across the base of his neck. Both light touches, certainly, but they leave him shivering all the same, his breathing quickening. He doesn't normally crave or even like proximity but right now, his body can't seem to get enough of it.

His mind is still pending, however, contrary to his usual proclamations, he'd be prepared to venture a guess; that in the end, eventually, they'll align with each other quite perfectly. And isn't that just a suitable description? He breathes in, breathes out, loses count of the glass irregularities. Some of us need to just go by instinct. God, how terrible. How utterly strange.

And yet, here he is, trying to do exactly that. ]


I... yes.

[ He looks down. Then, he turns against John, the sudden lack of skin-on-skin contact another odd echo, lost for now but present, still, in his neural network. He reaches out again, one hand landing lightly on John's shoulder (the right one, bullet to the left, and he hadn't truly known, even if he said so, John knew he hadn't known but he'd humoured Sherlock anyway) and trailing upwards slowly, following the lines of his neck to the back of his head. There's a slight coarseness to his hair as it slips beneath his fingertips. Contact re-established, he thinks, just as he leans down and kisses him again, harder, more roughly. Insistently. In a few seconds, he'll be walking them backwards towards his bed unless John sets them off first - it's not a matter of sequences or order, just two possibilities, thrown into the air because surely, between the two of them, they can afford the liberty. ]
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[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[ For a long moment, they're just kissing, all tongues and lips and wetness, and he'd map it out in a logical fashion - physical signs, actions and reactions - but right now, it's imperatively more important to keep track of John, of where he keeps his hands, where he's taking them. When he starts unbuttoning Sherlock's shirt, doing a piss-poor job of it, quite frankly, he decides that a burst of efficiency might just be what the doctor ordered, hah. He draws away, wetness clinging to his lips and steps back enough to create a bit more physical space between them. Not much, but enough.

Raising an eyebrow at John - How do you dress yourself in the morning?, it says, quite plainly - he unbuttons the rest of his shirt. As he slips it over his shoulders, down his arms and off, he realises that this is significantly different from two days ago, back when he walked around shirtless in the kitchen to test out John's response to his body. Right now, the variables really are... all over the place. He can hardly gauge them all, let alone control them. As he drops the shirt onto the floor, a heap of cool green against the floorboards, he straightens slightly and gives John a look. It's not a challenge. Really, he doesn't know what it is, but there's heat behind it. Intent.

Without further ado, he crouches down to untie his shoes because they're Italian leather and very unlikely to accept him trying to just wrestle his feet out of them, unloosened. It takes him all of five seconds (Sherlock was seven years old before he learned to tie and untie his own shoes - too much other data to care about, too little incentive to acquire this particular skill, at least until it became outright embarrassing, letting Mycroft tie them for him). As he straightens up again, he slips off his socks and stands there, barefoot, the air in the bedroom cool. There's a draft, he thinks, from the window. Definitely leaky. He doesn't much feel it, never has, though there are patches of goosebumps rising along the length of his arms and shoulders. ]
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[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ ... why isn't he doing anything? Sherlock watches him impassively for a long moment, wheels turning in his head and coming up with somewhat plausible answers (such as: arousal - pupils dilated - attentional flexibility and processing speed not necessarily reduced but impacted) but all the same, they're pretty much just looking at each other right now and why isn't he... Sherlock frowns very slightly. Notes that yes indeed, John's getting hard again and he really must be thoroughly distracted by it, otherwise, surely he'd make some sort of attempt, however feeble, at getting the hell out of his clothes.

Either that, or he's busy contemplating something thoroughly taxing for the average mind, such as the meaning of life.

Sherlock rates it a 98/2 probability mostly because he's never actually had anyone lose their focus so completely, just because he took his clothes off in front of them. Hard to know anything for certain when you're crossing uncharted territory. ]


John.

[ He steps closer. Closer yet. Then, close enough that he could kiss him again just by leaning forward (and down, because John is quite short) another inch, he reaches out and hooks his fingers into the waistband of the other man's jeans. A slight pull towards himself, feeling the hardness of John's erection against his thigh - and the thought of it, of John just standing here, gawking at him because he... wants him (he's counting on the 98 rather strongly here) is making him hot all over, heat pooling in his lower stomach, his cock hardening in response. Distantly, he reminds himself that this thing could very well spiral out of control to an extent as to become irretrievable, pushes the thought firmly aside and flips the button on John's jeans open. ]
acuriousincident: (14)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Though he doesn't immediately spring into action, John doesn't protest at being pulled closer, leaving Sherlock to deal with his jeans as quickly (and efficiently) as possible. When he does act, he does so in a thoroughly complimentary fashion and isn't that just typical John Watson, him in a nutshell as Sherlock has come to know him; when it counts, he'll act to make sense like people rarely do. Right now, he's pulling off his t-shirt, muscles working in his front and down his arms, and while Sherlock's hands don't exactly pause, he can't help but look away from the jeans, just to follow the movements of his body. In general, he's not really that interested in anatomy, unless he's trying to connect circumstantial evidence and chemical reaction; it's biology, really, and he's seen it all before but then again, he hasn't actually seen John like this before and it's wreaking havoc on his ability to stay focused. His hands still. And he stares, gaze flicking from his broad shoulders over the scarring on his left shoulder (entrance wound, small bone damage (which, considering this particular area, is a bit of a miracle in itself), only the barest long-term effect on mobility, bullet no doubt lodged itself in tissue, some internal bleeding, lucky escape - lucky, yes, quite). He blinks. Forces himself back into action, just as John's hands slide down his stomach, towards his trousers.

One, hard push and he's shoving John's jeans down his thighs and really, from this angle, there's only one way to finish the movement - he is, after all, not a small person - so he drops to his knees in front of the other man and pulls the fabric downwards. He realises he's close enough to press his cheek against the hard bulge in John's underwear and refrains only by virtue of following a different plan, one that's going to lead to the same basic end result with fewer risks of awkwardness - such as, stumbling in your jeans whilst getting a blowjob. For example. He misses John's hands on his body already, though. That's a drawback he hadn't thought to consider.

All the same. Hands following the lines of John's thighs, his skin warm and slightly damp beneath his palms, he pushes the fabric down his legs, over hard knees, down the back of his calves, all the way to his ankles. His breathing remains steady, if a little bit too quick, as his brain starts mapping out everything about John's body worth acknowledging which (to nobody's surprise, surely) turns out to be, literally, everything. He doesn't take very long, the fabric pooling around John's feet and leaving him to step free of it on his own account. Instead, he sits back on his haunches and looks up at him, realising how rarely this actually happens - he's used to looking at John from up above, isn't he? Where John seems to position him, too, because he's such a fallible, stupid, lovable person and it's really quite hard not to get... accustomed to it. ]
acuriousincident: (9)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ John favours him with a slight smile and a really bad joke (it's got to be a joke), but the touch of his hand is making him a lot less likely to comment with something scathing or cruel. Instead, he shrugs very slightly, shifting from one foot to the other, gaze slipping from John's face down his bare chest and stomach. And further. ]

I'm very sorry. [ His voice comes out uncharacteristically breathy as he inches closer. ] Without the coat, John, you won't be getting anywhere.

[ He leans in, kissing the skin right above John's left knee, lips running up the inside of his thigh slowly. It's a brief touch, really, but the scent of sex - of arousal, sweat and naked skin - settles on his tastebuds all the same. If he were ever in any doubts as to whether or not he'd been endowed with a chemical set-up for these types of situations (sex - just say it, for god's sake), he'd be noting down a rather strong affirmation right now. He knows, of course. But not like this, never like this. He draws back after a few seconds, only inches away from the lining of John's underpants. He's almost forgotten about his own arousal, like he forgets about his bodily needs in general whenever his mind is otherwise occupied. Whilst trying to have sex with John, though, he probably should be paying at least some attention to them. Mind and body. Always connected, yes, but the balance is different.

He gets to his feet, taking care not to stumble about in the process. He needs these trousers off, now, and he's doing it himself because they've got buttons (well, one, singularis, who cares) and they don't have all night. Thus, he makes quick work of them, pushing them off along with his socks until, like John, he's down to his underpants. And then, he pauses. Looks at the other man again, gaze sharpening slightly in the darkness, the remnants of streetlight from outside flickering through the window and leaving John curiously lit, here and there, shadows and light. He likes that look on him. The quiet but undeniable restlessness of it.

Swallowing, he crosses the distance between them, puts his hands on John's naked shoulders and pushes him backwards. Onto the bed, he hopes, but he's not actually forcing as much as urging. Whilst he can certainly drug John for the sake of science (and has, more than once, though the man's yet to notice because the experiments were failures), he's not about to push him about. In a fair fight, he'd lose for the very same reason, too. Against this man, he is at least to some extent defenseless and there's a proof worth noting - that they both love risks. That they are indeed both addicted. ]
acuriousincident: (4)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-15 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ John follows along, as John is wont to do. He tugs at Sherlock's arm to pull him along and this time, it's a system of flawless back-and-forth, Sherlock dropping to his knees on the mattress, the sheets rustling beneath them. The bed's unmade, naturally, why wouldn't it be, and as such, they aren't messing up any pre-existing order by getting comfortable side by side. He ends up mostly on his side, lying down more fully than John, who's maintained some high ground still by resting on his elbow. Looking up at him, Sherlock holds his gaze for a moment. This is one of the reasons (one of several) why he never bothers with sex - it's an endless analytic hellhole, trying to decipher who's doing what at which turn, who's waiting on who, which body parts are going... where. This time around, he skips most of it, going only as far as to deduce that between the two of them, it's really only a matter of who acts first, the rest of the story tends to write itself. Doesn't it, John? ]

Come on.

[ He emphasises his words by reaching out, fingers curling around John's wrist and pulling him closer, down towards himself, trying to avoid their legs getting all entangled and probably failing. But really, they're hardly going to get anywhere with one of them, hovering over the other (astral sex? ugh. some people truly are insane), and John's bound to show him differently if it doesn't work for him, surely. Regardless of how much he'll accept on a daily basis as Sherlock's flatmate, he's not by any means a pushover. He tries to imagine actually wasting his time, getting physical with someone like that and quickly dismisses the thought as completely and utterly ludicrous.

They've reached an interesting state of equilibrium, the two of them. John, with his limited experience in terms of sleeping with his own gender (I'm not gay, he says, and Sherlock quite agrees, because really, John may not know too many things but regarding this, his own proclivities, at least, he ought to be the only available expert), Sherlock with his limited, sexual frequency. Drugs, yes and thank you, because they tend to be a wholly solitary indulgence. Sex? Is complicated. A chemical redundancy. So here they are, then, balancing each other out which is so typical, he can't help but smile at the thought, a very understated expression that fades before it reaches his eyes. ]
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[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ The pace kicks up a notch without slipping into hurried or desperate which is quite a relief. Though he's got a sharp brain, it's not actually keeping up at its usual speed of processing right now and with John taking his sweet time, at least he isn't actively falling behind. Instead, his mind is being positively flooded with hormones and thank god everything in there's so thoroughly connected or he'd be without a sensible thought when John licks a trail from his earlobe and down his neck. He cranes his neck slightly, into that warm, wet touch of his tongue and runs his hand up John's arm, fingers locking tightly around his biceps. Shifting slightly on his back, he turns his head enough to press his lips against whatever he can reach of John's head. Warm skin, hair, the faint smell of burberry (aftershave, lasts around three hours, never meant to make it home with anyone, obvious). He inhales, greedily.

He probably shouldn't be thinking about this doing sex - another one of his problems, certainly, he can't rightly just shut it off, now can he - but even as John's hand travels across his stomach, dipping lower and slipping beneath the hem of his pants, he can't help but shift a bit restlessly against him, wondering whether they're doing this as an extension of their normal status quo - or whether they'll be waking up to a new world tomorrow. The past month certainly hasn't been all that different from normal but then again, they've been very purposefully fighting this thing off. Badly, yes. Certainly. But they've tried.

Biting his lip and re-focusing, he tightens his hand slightly around John's arm for a second before running his palm up over his shoulder, settling near the nape of his neck. Every pressure of John's body against his, be it the slide of naked skin against naked skin or his fingertips, ghosting over his lower abdomen, is making him simultaneously less perceptive and more desperate for clarity. It's an impossible enterprise, searching for answers when you don't even know where to look, and as he pushes up slightly against John's hand, he gives up trying to make sense of it for now, knowing full well that he'll be doing some extensive follow-up when they're done and - biologically, he'd like to state, for the record - incapable of caring much either way. ]
acuriousincident: (1)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 11:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ Seeing as John obviously isn’t planning on moving enough to finish the motion himself, Sherlock takes the hint from him with a fluency that doesn’t usually characterise their interaction - they aren’t relying on obscure social cues at this very moment and he’s glad of it, because he hates stumbling towards the finish line in all aspects of life. Shifting his hips and reaching down with his free hand, he pushes his underpants down the rest of the way and notices only afterwards what an absolute relief it is, to be free from their restraint. With some rather inelegant shuffling of feet, he kicks them off completely, possibly kicking John in the process because he’s got really long legs and they’re basically all over each other, him and John, it’s rather hard to avoid touching, for better and for worse.

Besides, with John taking up so much of his direct line of vision, surely he can be forgiven for a slight amount of disorientation. That, and the fact that the feel of his lips is driving him to complete distraction. Eyes blinking shut (again - when did he even open them in the first place?), he shifts up against him more fully again, ignoring their tangle of limbs for the sake of body contact, heat, the slight dampness of skin, and if he shifts his hips like this - oh god - the hard length of his cock sliding up against John’s thigh, the friction making him gasp out against his lips. He can’t remember when he last got off without the help of his hand - it’s a bodily urge, really, and in general he’ll satisfy it as quickly and as time-efficiently as he can because it tends to mean so very little in any case.

Though he’s loath to associate himself with romantic inclinations of any sort, he’d be an idiot - well and truly - to file this away with the rest of his meaningless, bodily experiences. For one thing, he can’t currently stop sensing John, from his scent to the firmness of his skin to the strength of his muscles and the weight of his body against his; there’s no immediate categorisation, it’s just a slew of inputs and he’d classify it as sensory assault if it didn’t feel so bloody good. Thus, he kisses him back almost ferociously, teeth gracing his bottom lip completely on purpose and his nails digging into his back. Shifts his hips again, just so, because he doesn’t know whether John’s actually planning on touching his cock to get him off and he’s not going to beg for it, either. Freeing one hand, he reaches down between them and cubs him through his underpants, pressing his palm upwards, a slow, rubbing-motion. ]
acuriousincident: (14)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oh. He sucks in a startled breath as John's fingers close around the length of his cock and his hips still, as he takes a moment to gather his composure. He's got large hands, John, large and relatively sturdy, capable of handling both medical tools and assault rifles with equal competence; and as of now, he's adding surprisingly gentle to the list of attributes, you wouldn't honestly know about the rest of the list if this was all you knew (good thing they met in a lab at Bart's, really, and not like this - his John-deduction would have been a lot less impressive). He lies still, breathing in and exhaling shakily.

It hits him suddenly. Here they are, in his bed, and John's probably done experimenting (dull sex with dull people apparently doesn't appeal to him - who would have thought?), though it's hard to say what they're calling this, in turn. To Sherlock, it's definitely not an experiment, has ceased being anything even approaching it for a good many hours. For one, he's got no idea what he'd supposedly be testing out. He can't tell his variables apart. There isn't anything to hold it up against, perhaps aside from the empty nothing that came before John. He's not so certain he truly wants to compare the two.

Drawing in another breath, this time deeper and less trembling, he pulls his hand away, pushing John slightly to make enough room for him to bring it up to his lips. He meets John's eyes for a brief moment, knowing full well that his expression isn't quite as cool as it normally is (blown-out pupils, for one thing - for certain - and then, there's the fact that he can't seem to catch his breath), then licks a heavy trail across his palm. He can taste John's arousal on himself already, as surely as he can smell it between them, and in response, his cock gives a happy jerk between John's fingers that he really can't be responsible for at this very moment. Instead, he reaches down again, unceremoniously, and pushes his hand underneath the waistband of John's underpants. His palm glides slickly over the hard length of John's cock, from head and all the way to its base. It doesn't take much more than a twitch of his wrist to free him from the confines of fabric and at this point, if John can't tell he's done this before, he really should be shot.

Non-fatally. Obviously. ]
acuriousincident: (12)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's about to set a rhythm of some sort, manages a slow slide up the length of John's cock when the man lets go of him (don't do that, why would you do that) and he's about to complain, he really is, when John does something utterly unexpected. Isn't it beautiful - the unexpected? Just so. For a good many seconds, he just stares at the hand in front of his face and John smells of him, almost irrevocably so, it's rather good. This whole, entire thing. Eyes narrowing slightly, he meets John's gaze head-on. Care to sign this one, too? Such a John-thing to say, really, bloody action hero. One deep breath, then another, the scent of arousal and sex making his blood pound faster yet - then, quite succinctly, he pulls his hand way from where it's currently resting between John's shoulder blades (leaving five half-moon shaped marks in its wake, though they won't notice that until morning). Grabbing hold of the other man's wrist firmly, he pulls it closer to his mouth, leans in and licks his palm. Slowly. And steadily.

He doesn't mind the taste of his own sex overly much, though he's quite quick to distinguish between what's his and what's John; there's an spiced-up kind of saltiness to him, something clean but insistent and he's got no other words, really, for what is, ultimately, just a mix of inherent and contextually-induced chemical connections. He's making things up, he realises very belatedly, and draws back slightly, the taste of skin and sweat heavy on his tongue. Fantastical thoughts. Mirages. Tomorrow, no doubt, he'll have to scold himself very thoroughly for giving into flights of fancy just because he's suddenly so very close to getting off with John, just because he's been wanting to do that for a lot longer than the past month and pushed it aside as both commonplace and impossible.

For now, however, he'll take his rush and enjoy it for what it's worth, for as long as it lasts. ]


Can't help you with the next bit, though. Best get moving.

[ He's forcing some semblance of calm and stability into his voice, but it still sounds ragged to his ears. Breathing coming out distinctively shallow, his balls already tightening up almost painfully, he starts jerking John off more readily now, his hand running up and down the shaft of his cock, keeping the foreskin pulled up, his thumb rubbing firmly along the underside. He's going by assumption rather than experience, here; if, percentage-wise, this is how most men prefer their handjobs (some google-research may or may not feature into this assessment), surely there's a good chance John will be satisfied, too. And if not, well, he can let him know. They are, after all, within speaking distance. ]
acuriousincident: (5)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Well. There's another statistic for you, it seems. Lip tingling, Sherlock breaks the kiss after a few seconds, very much breathless, and watches John's face, gaze sliding down, past his trembling arm and his upper body, damp with sweat. Downwards, even further, to where their hands are moving very much out of sync, Sherlock setting a somewhat even pace while John's clearly in need of some relief before he can adequately contribute. His touch is sending small but significant shock-waves through him, however, and to be quite frank, Sherlock's not entirely displeased that John can't quite keep up just now, not for sake of gloating but because it leaves him better prepared to continue without losing concentration. Leaning his head back, brow furrowing lightly, he quickens the motion of his hand just a fraction, not to rush but to effect. Though he isn't looking at him, he can feel (feel, feel, feel, how insufferable, but right now he'll have to accept it) how John's falling apart slowly on top of him, and the thought is, quite honestly, intoxicating.

It doesn't surprise him that John's the type to keep quiet - or at least attempt it. He's not a man to toughen down out of nowhere, it's not just related to his time as a soldier, either. It's a character trait. Sherlock's not altogether sure about the science related to personality traits and temperament but surely, people are biology first and foremost, before anything else. He tightens his grip slightly around John's cock, just as his palm passes over the head, slipping downwards again immediately after. Repeat. And again.

He files that fact away along with all the rest, the veritable arsenal he's got on the other man, data that he doesn't know what to do with, except to keep assembling it. He can't stop, after all, one might as well request that he stop existing, and just because he's not like John - the differences are so many and so varied that he wouldn't know where to start with that particular list - he gasps out loud when John's hand manages a particularly perfect slide down his cock, perfect pressure, perfect pace, and it's just a little but so long as he keeps it up, it will certainly be too much, as well. He's sweating as well, the sheets feel crumbled and overheated beneath him. And John, above him, warm enough to leave him senseless. ]
Edited 2019-02-16 19:10 (UTC)
acuriousincident: (16)

[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There's a shift, slight but significant, as John starts thrusting into his hand, looking down at him for a moment before dropping his forehead against his shoulder. His hair tickles Sherlock's jaw and if he turns his head a fraction, his lips as well. So he does. He doesn't let up on the rhythm of his hand, mostly because they seem to be reaching some sort of unspoken consensus now and god, John's getting it too, isn't he, he's probably... thinking less, doing more... as is really the best look on him in all situations... Sherlock groans, loudly, lips trailing aimlessly across John's brow until there's hair in his mouth. He doesn't care. It tastes like John, really, without any hints of the shampoo he uses in the shower; there's a faint trace of smokiness to it, though, from the club no doubt. Mouth stilling against John's temple, he shifts his hips upwards and John's hand is currently at the most perfect angle for this, it hits all the right notes every time... every time...

He can feel his balls drawing up now (has to be approximately 60 seconds away from orgasm now, him, not John, John is closer yet, surely or maybe he's once again managed to fall into step with him, how does he do that, how), eyes screwing shut as he uses his other hand to grasp onto John's shoulder, fingers digging into his skin and pulling him closer. Yes, his body is definitely racing towards climax now and he's not about to pause it, really, when has he ever waited on anyone, but he makes sure to slip his thumb across the naked head of John's cock a few times, smearing precum along the shaft, just to speed him up. Yes, for him it's a fundamental condition more than it is situational or rare - that he tends to be the first (to come first, haha, ugh) in most matters because he's faster than most other people, that it leaves him mostly alone, too, because most other people can't be bothered to play catch-up every second of their lives.

When his orgasm finally bursts out of him, long, pulsing sparks of pleasure racing down the length of his cock, spilling over John's hand and between their bodies, he's got his eyes closed and his hand firmly working John's cock, mind going blissfully blank. For the briefest little second, exceptionally unimportant in the grand scheme of things, all he can really think is John because the man is everywhere at once. Enough even, that he breathes out his name, his hand tightening almost convulsively against his shoulder. There's nothing but blank emptiness behind his eyelids, though, and he lets himself drown in it just now, saving all eventual regrets for later. As with a very decent high, there's a low afterwards and he's no less prepared to face it now than when he actively chooses it. This time, however, it's not wholly up to him and it's very hard to figure out if the thought's a comfort or just flat-out terrifying so he doesn't waste any time on it. Pushes it aside. And waits for his muscles to come down. ]
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[personal profile] acuriousincident 2019-02-16 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He comes down from it gradually, forcing his eyes open mostly in response to John's question. His hand feels sticky with cum, as does the sheets and his lower abdomen but he can't be arsed to move or wipe it off, so he leaves it to dry in splotchy patterns instead. They'll need to shower in the morning anyhow, it hardly matters now. Breathing returning only slowly to its regular rhythm, he glances sideways at the other man, gaze raking over his features for a few seconds. Sated, most of all. Licking his lips, alright, a tinge of something else in the afterglow, possibly 1) missing-condom regret or 2) just general bafflement at having done this when about five weeks ago, it wouldn't even cross his mind. None of those are truly worrisome issues and he leaves them hanging (unless, of course, John-the-Second came with STDs in which case John-the-First will lose absolutely every point he's managed to gain tonight), clearing his throat and glancing upwards at the ceiling. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette right now... ]

I am always able. [ He shrugs. ] You already know why, can't see why I'd waste my time pointing it out. [ In his mind, he ticks the boxes anyway: social norms and expectations; the effect of trauma on sexual identity and personal narratives, a drive towards the safety in what's already known and familiar and accepted; you think you want normalcy, john, but that doesn't mean you need it. He sighs, audibly. ] The non-honest answer would be that I don't know.

[ He stretches lazily, feet almost popping off the bed in the process. As a natural consequence of orgasm, he feels incredibly, bonelessly tired and he really ought to go and wash up somewhat, do something to prepare for bed but he's already in it and in less than a minute he'll be half-asleep, so really. He stays exactly where he is, his shoulder touching John's front, the smell and feel of him everywhere still in his sensory systems, taking up space in a way that John so rarely does otherwise. He can allow it now. Of course he can. All thoughts of tomorrow - of onward, of consequences and regrets - feel distant, like his brain's given up on executive functioning for the night altogether. He shifts closer to John, just a fraction. ]
Edited 2019-02-16 22:09 (UTC)

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[personal profile] acuriousincident - 2019-02-16 23:15 (UTC) - Expand