[ He's not in fact looking out of the window - rather, he's staring at the small bubbles of air inside the glass, the tracks of dirt, remnants of ozone collecting along the frame, gaze fixating on all the tiny, useless details. It doesn't lead him to any conclusions, not as such (needs scrubbing, too much soil to wash it straight away, potential draining problems at length, mould experiments?), his attention split between this micro-cosmos and the feel of John's presence in the room, growing steadfastly more acute. He's about to reach out for the windowsill, just to get a grip om something, when John puts his hand against the small of his back, leans in and runs his lips across the base of his neck. Both light touches, certainly, but they leave him shivering all the same, his breathing quickening. He doesn't normally crave or even like proximity but right now, his body can't seem to get enough of it.
His mind is still pending, however, contrary to his usual proclamations, he'd be prepared to venture a guess; that in the end, eventually, they'll align with each other quite perfectly. And isn't that just a suitable description? He breathes in, breathes out, loses count of the glass irregularities. Some of us need to just go by instinct. God, how terrible. How utterly strange.
And yet, here he is, trying to do exactly that. ]
I... yes.
[ He looks down. Then, he turns against John, the sudden lack of skin-on-skin contact another odd echo, lost for now but present, still, in his neural network. He reaches out again, one hand landing lightly on John's shoulder (the right one, bullet to the left, and he hadn't truly known, even if he said so, John knew he hadn't known but he'd humoured Sherlock anyway) and trailing upwards slowly, following the lines of his neck to the back of his head. There's a slight coarseness to his hair as it slips beneath his fingertips. Contact re-established, he thinks, just as he leans down and kisses him again, harder, more roughly. Insistently. In a few seconds, he'll be walking them backwards towards his bed unless John sets them off first - it's not a matter of sequences or order, just two possibilities, thrown into the air because surely, between the two of them, they can afford the liberty. ]
[ It's actually quite simple. Sherlock agrees, though you might wonder if he can even comprehend the concept properly, then he turns around against John, leaving them face to face before leaning down and kissing him again. It's harder, rougher this time around and John meets him squarely in the middle of it, feeling how Sherlock's fingers slip into his hair and cradle the back of his head.
Fine, it'll be like this, will it?
Eyes shut, lips parting and tongue slipping over Sherlock's lower lip, he starts backing up against (what he sincerely hopes is the direction of) the bed, hands coming up to bury into the fabric of the other man's prissy shirt and dragging him forward, with him. He smells like an intricate map of his day so far, like smoke and burned beetles, disinfectant and a slight hint of soap, very little fresh air, you could basically map out Sherlock's every move today just by the smell of him (but then again, that's why he has a tendency to sniff people, however inappropriate it is). That's how he gets his stories. His data. John just really -- well, loves the laboratory-ish feel of it, how his work hangs around him even now, even here. How you can't escape it and you'd be a right fool to want to, to try.
He tastes familiar, too. Already, he tastes like -- well, he's not going to say it, no. There's no reason to jinx it.
The back of his knees making contact with the edge of Sherlock's bed, John comes to a halt, their chests sliding up against each other through the fabric of their shirts. He pushes his tongue in between the other man's lips, craving that heat, the warmth of him while he fumbles for a moment for the buttons on his shirt, beginning to unbutton it from the middle and down. Sherlock will simply have to fix the upper half of the row, won't he, isn't that the heights he usually frequents anyway? Bloody beanpole. ]
[ For a long moment, they're just kissing, all tongues and lips and wetness, and he'd map it out in a logical fashion - physical signs, actions and reactions - but right now, it's imperatively more important to keep track of John, of where he keeps his hands, where he's taking them. When he starts unbuttoning Sherlock's shirt, doing a piss-poor job of it, quite frankly, he decides that a burst of efficiency might just be what the doctor ordered, hah. He draws away, wetness clinging to his lips and steps back enough to create a bit more physical space between them. Not much, but enough.
Raising an eyebrow at John - How do you dress yourself in the morning?, it says, quite plainly - he unbuttons the rest of his shirt. As he slips it over his shoulders, down his arms and off, he realises that this is significantly different from two days ago, back when he walked around shirtless in the kitchen to test out John's response to his body. Right now, the variables really are... all over the place. He can hardly gauge them all, let alone control them. As he drops the shirt onto the floor, a heap of cool green against the floorboards, he straightens slightly and gives John a look. It's not a challenge. Really, he doesn't know what it is, but there's heat behind it. Intent.
Without further ado, he crouches down to untie his shoes because they're Italian leather and very unlikely to accept him trying to just wrestle his feet out of them, unloosened. It takes him all of five seconds (Sherlock was seven years old before he learned to tie and untie his own shoes - too much other data to care about, too little incentive to acquire this particular skill, at least until it became outright embarrassing, letting Mycroft tie them for him). As he straightens up again, he slips off his socks and stands there, barefoot, the air in the bedroom cool. There's a draft, he thinks, from the window. Definitely leaky. He doesn't much feel it, never has, though there are patches of goosebumps rising along the length of his arms and shoulders. ]
[ Eventually, Sherlock breaks the kiss and steps back, obviously giving up on John's lacking dexterity and giving him a look that plainly says so, too, John sending him an in no way genuine glimpse of shame-face back (he could do better, surely, but he could also be doing much worse, everything considered, what is this -- the second time he's doing anything like this with another man), his arms dropping to his sides while Sherlock undoes the row of buttons with an almost elegant ease. What's more important, the shirt is definitely coming off and John follows its travels with his eyes, the way it slips down over pale shoulders, baring arms, baring chest and stomach in the process. He's eating Sherlock's upper body up, pretty much, like he did that time in the kitchen a couple of days prior, just much closer up and much more tangibly, his system sending a hot rush of -- something, most likely a good mix of testosterone and endorphins into his blood stream at the sight. John is used to looking at naked people, it's part of his job, evaluating the human body and usually the male body especially is strictly limited to this kind of objective evaluation, but looking at Sherlock now is endlessly far from -- that and a much more intimate experience, to be honest. Something heated and physical. Want. It's want, flat-out.
Aaaaaand -- it doesn't really help, when Sherlock then proceeds to crouch down to untie his shoes, bringing himself on a rather perfect level with John's cock which is coming back to life after its journey up the stairs in tight jeans. He swallows thickly, deciding that he should really do something with himself in the meantime, just to bring attention away from how he's slowly hardening in his trousers again, breathing deeply through parted lips while stepping out of his own shoes and socks messily, kicking them off to the side to join the ranks of Sherlock's shirt, his socks and his shoes. It's cool in the bedroom, like there's a draft somewhere and although he's far from cold, he can see goosebumps rising on Sherlock's shoulders, his arms, his -- nipples hardening slightly and isn't that just lovely? Lovely. Great. He licks his lips and meets the other man's eyes when he's straightened up fully, shifting from one foot to the other. Impatiently. He need to get out of his shirt, honestly (keep up, keep up), but he'd much rather keep looking.
After all, it feels like there's half a lifetime he hasn't yet actually seen, doesn't it? It feels like Sherlock is making up for it, wholly. ]
[ ... why isn't he doing anything? Sherlock watches him impassively for a long moment, wheels turning in his head and coming up with somewhat plausible answers (such as: arousal - pupils dilated - attentional flexibility and processing speed not necessarily reduced but impacted) but all the same, they're pretty much just looking at each other right now and why isn't he... Sherlock frowns very slightly. Notes that yes indeed, John's getting hard again and he really must be thoroughly distracted by it, otherwise, surely he'd make some sort of attempt, however feeble, at getting the hell out of his clothes.
Either that, or he's busy contemplating something thoroughly taxing for the average mind, such as the meaning of life.
Sherlock rates it a 98/2 probability mostly because he's never actually had anyone lose their focus so completely, just because he took his clothes off in front of them. Hard to know anything for certain when you're crossing uncharted territory. ]
John.
[ He steps closer. Closer yet. Then, close enough that he could kiss him again just by leaning forward (and down, because John is quite short) another inch, he reaches out and hooks his fingers into the waistband of the other man's jeans. A slight pull towards himself, feeling the hardness of John's erection against his thigh - and the thought of it, of John just standing here, gawking at him because he... wants him (he's counting on the 98 rather strongly here) is making him hot all over, heat pooling in his lower stomach, his cock hardening in response. Distantly, he reminds himself that this thing could very well spiral out of control to an extent as to become irretrievable, pushes the thought firmly aside and flips the button on John's jeans open. ]
Yes -- [ His voice, when he speaks, sounds slightly hoarse and he clears his throat once to get it into a more normal pitch, but it makes no real difference, the words still coming out smokier and rougher than normally. ] -- yes, I know.
[ What it is, exactly, that he knows, he wouldn't be able to tell you, even if you asked politely and he were actually inclined to answer. It's just one of those things you say, apparently, when Sherlock Holmes hooks his fingers in the waistband of your jeans and pulls you up against him, half-hard cock and everything. John breathes in once, a long drag of air, then exhales just as deeply, slowly, looking up and meeting the other man's eyes. Blue. Very blue. Also, he's still very half-naked and there are pale expanses of chest and dark nipples and there's the column of neck, along with broad shoulders... In sum, there's Sherlock and they're standing so close that John could lick a trail from his collarbone to the thin stretch of skin covering his pulse point without having to move his head much at all. Tempting.
Instead, he reaches down and catches hold of the hem of his own shirt, deciding that they'll have to cooperate on this one like they do on pretty much everything else, thus Sherlock can undress the lower half of his body (he's absolutely more than welcome to, as a matter of fact) and John will deal with the upper half and they'll be done in a flash, right? Not that they're in a hurry, sure, but his cock is feeling very constricted and very needy and sometimes a man has to listen to his privates. Blinking, John drags the shirt over his head quickly, pulling his arms out of the sleeves and throwing the club-stinking piece of fabric off to the side, quickly forgotten in the shadows. The draft is making the hairs on his arm stand on end -- or that's Sherlock's doing, too, the reactions are difficult to tell apart. Whether you're too cold or too hot, really, sometimes your body doesn't distinguish very well.
Raising both eyebrows, he catches Sherlock's eyes, waiting for the other man to do his part -- well, besides looking good enough to eat, he's got that covered already. For some reason, his mind skips back to that night at the swimming pool, Sherlock ripping the bomb vest off, tearing at his clothes and John feeling the actual, very physical relief of not being strapped into his own looming death, telling him that he was glad there was no one around to see. People would talk. People will talk.
People do little else, Sherlock had replied and they'd laughed, somehow making almost dying not that bad of an experience. Honestly, he could have used the man around in Afghanistan. He could have used someone like him, long before... But they're here, now. It's fine. It might even be better than fine. He leaves Sherlock to fight his jeans on his own, reaching out with both hands and pressing them against the other man's stomach, fingers splayed out, palms overheated, fingertips digging in as he drags them downwards, thinking that he really shouldn't be the only one to lose his trousers in the process. ]
[ Though he doesn't immediately spring into action, John doesn't protest at being pulled closer, leaving Sherlock to deal with his jeans as quickly (and efficiently) as possible. When he does act, he does so in a thoroughly complimentary fashion and isn't that just typical John Watson, him in a nutshell as Sherlock has come to know him; when it counts, he'll act to make sense like people rarely do. Right now, he's pulling off his t-shirt, muscles working in his front and down his arms, and while Sherlock's hands don't exactly pause, he can't help but look away from the jeans, just to follow the movements of his body. In general, he's not really that interested in anatomy, unless he's trying to connect circumstantial evidence and chemical reaction; it's biology, really, and he's seen it all before but then again, he hasn't actually seen John like this before and it's wreaking havoc on his ability to stay focused. His hands still. And he stares, gaze flicking from his broad shoulders over the scarring on his left shoulder (entrance wound, small bone damage (which, considering this particular area, is a bit of a miracle in itself), only the barest long-term effect on mobility, bullet no doubt lodged itself in tissue, some internal bleeding, lucky escape - lucky, yes, quite). He blinks. Forces himself back into action, just as John's hands slide down his stomach, towards his trousers.
One, hard push and he's shoving John's jeans down his thighs and really, from this angle, there's only one way to finish the movement - he is, after all, not a small person - so he drops to his knees in front of the other man and pulls the fabric downwards. He realises he's close enough to press his cheek against the hard bulge in John's underwear and refrains only by virtue of following a different plan, one that's going to lead to the same basic end result with fewer risks of awkwardness - such as, stumbling in your jeans whilst getting a blowjob. For example. He misses John's hands on his body already, though. That's a drawback he hadn't thought to consider.
All the same. Hands following the lines of John's thighs, his skin warm and slightly damp beneath his palms, he pushes the fabric down his legs, over hard knees, down the back of his calves, all the way to his ankles. His breathing remains steady, if a little bit too quick, as his brain starts mapping out everything about John's body worth acknowledging which (to nobody's surprise, surely) turns out to be, literally, everything. He doesn't take very long, the fabric pooling around John's feet and leaving him to step free of it on his own account. Instead, he sits back on his haunches and looks up at him, realising how rarely this actually happens - he's used to looking at John from up above, isn't he? Where John seems to position him, too, because he's such a fallible, stupid, lovable person and it's really quite hard not to get... accustomed to it. ]
[ Sherlock makes quick work of his jeans, pushing them down over his thighs and it's because his fingers have just managed to grip onto the waistband of Sherlock's trousers that he doesn't have time to react, to reach down and push at the fabric, before Sherlock Bloody Holmes slides to his knees in front of him and tugs his jeans with him all the way. Hands hovering stupidly in the air where he was going to make good progress on the other man's remaining layers of clothes, John blinks once, then looks down and Sherlock is just sitting there, at perfect level with his cock that is straining against his pants. O--kay. Good. This is -- good.
It occurs to him that although he basically (and really, basically might be the perfect word for it) shagged someone four hours ago, the experience now compared to then is so vastly different that it doesn't feel even remotely alike. Getting a quick handjob up against a hotel door by a stranger who didn't matter simply doesn't hold up to the visual of Sherlock (of all people) half a movement from sticking his face in his crotch. John breathes in, breathes out, then forces himself to step out of his trousers mostly by instinct, a courtesy, because the other man went to the trouble of getting them there.
It's not as fumbling as he might have expected it to be, this, them. Everything considered. John having slept with a man a total times of one (1) and Sherlock -- being married to his work, like he said back then, when it all began. Women, not his area. No boyfriend. John has just assumed that sex wasn't his thing, though he's learned from Sherlock himself, of course, that assuming is second only to trusting in faultiness. Meeting Sherlock's eyes when the man looks up at him, the angle of his face really putting those cheekbones on display, doesn't it, John shifts again, one foot to the other, jeans pushed well enough out of the way not to become a liability. At this point, he's so hard that half doesn't cover it anymore. Regardless, he smiles, slightly, doesn't really hesitate before reaching out with one hand and running his fingers through Sherlock's hair, from his bangs to the back of his head, one long caress of his hand. Whatever book the man has picked this particular trick up from, it's working and isn't that how he prefers his experiments anyway? ]
If this is what it's like having a short friend, I'm getting myself one.
[ He keeps a perfectly straight face, only one eyebrow quirking and not in the slightest. ]
[ John favours him with a slight smile and a really bad joke (it's got to be a joke), but the touch of his hand is making him a lot less likely to comment with something scathing or cruel. Instead, he shrugs very slightly, shifting from one foot to the other, gaze slipping from John's face down his bare chest and stomach. And further. ]
I'm very sorry. [ His voice comes out uncharacteristically breathy as he inches closer. ] Without the coat, John, you won't be getting anywhere.
[ He leans in, kissing the skin right above John's left knee, lips running up the inside of his thigh slowly. It's a brief touch, really, but the scent of sex - of arousal, sweat and naked skin - settles on his tastebuds all the same. If he were ever in any doubts as to whether or not he'd been endowed with a chemical set-up for these types of situations (sex - just say it, for god's sake), he'd be noting down a rather strong affirmation right now. He knows, of course. But not like this, never like this. He draws back after a few seconds, only inches away from the lining of John's underpants. He's almost forgotten about his own arousal, like he forgets about his bodily needs in general whenever his mind is otherwise occupied. Whilst trying to have sex with John, though, he probably should be paying at least some attention to them. Mind and body. Always connected, yes, but the balance is different.
He gets to his feet, taking care not to stumble about in the process. He needs these trousers off, now, and he's doing it himself because they've got buttons (well, one, singularis, who cares) and they don't have all night. Thus, he makes quick work of them, pushing them off along with his socks until, like John, he's down to his underpants. And then, he pauses. Looks at the other man again, gaze sharpening slightly in the darkness, the remnants of streetlight from outside flickering through the window and leaving John curiously lit, here and there, shadows and light. He likes that look on him. The quiet but undeniable restlessness of it.
Swallowing, he crosses the distance between them, puts his hands on John's naked shoulders and pushes him backwards. Onto the bed, he hopes, but he's not actually forcing as much as urging. Whilst he can certainly drug John for the sake of science (and has, more than once, though the man's yet to notice because the experiments were failures), he's not about to push him about. In a fair fight, he'd lose for the very same reason, too. Against this man, he is at least to some extent defenseless and there's a proof worth noting - that they both love risks. That they are indeed both addicted. ]
[ And that is as far as John gets, because Sherlock leans in and kisses the skin above his left knee, lips running up the inside of his thigh, slowly, slowly, making goosebumps break out and a very slight twitch happen in his pants. His breath comes out in a gasp, the sound echoing in the silence, like a ghost of something unsaid in the stillness of the room. He doesn't know what he'd imagined, really, he might not have imagined anything specific at all, but a part of him is somewhat disappointed when Sherlock draws back and gets to his feet, growing taller than him once more. If nothing else, then just because being on his knees suited the man well (definitely better than John would have thought, say, a month ago), where you have to look down to hold his gaze rather than crane your bloody neck. However, he does make good use of this expansion to his range of movement, crawling (and naturally he'd need to crawl out of them, tight-fitting as they always are) out of his trousers and abandoning them along with his socks to the darkness across the floor, the entire process as efficient as you'd expect of him which is no doubt why he didn't leave it up to John, though John's got a steady hand and very nimble fingers when it counts. Which Sherlock knows, there's nothing left to prove in that regard.
In the faint light from the streets outside the windows, they're looking at each other in a play of shadows, a comfortable quiet settling between them again. Like a starting point, as well as an intermission and, somewhere ahead, it will undoubtedly define the finishing line, too.
John's eyes run down Sherlock's front like that, not really lingering, but taking him in as a whole. Certainly too thin, that's his professional opinion, but also certainly doable, as his body agrees. So, he doesn't move when Sherlock walks up to him, doesn't move when he puts his hands on his shoulders, doesn't move until he's being urged backwards, the bed right behind him and it seems the next logical step, to draw backwards until the back of his knees make contact with the edge of it. The rest comes naturally, sitting down and sliding into a halfway reclining position, keeping himself up on one elbow, reaching out with his free hand to close his fingers around Sherlock's arm and tugging him along. They'll probably end up a sprawl of limbs at some point anyway, why not sooner rather than later? He's very much in favour of increased physical contact now, more intimacy, because they need to start calling things by their actual names. "Friends" is wearing thin as a concept, when John's so hard it's beginning to hurt with Sherlock not far behind either, he noticed before. What they're going to call themselves henceforth, time will tell, but there must be available alternatives.
[ John follows along, as John is wont to do. He tugs at Sherlock's arm to pull him along and this time, it's a system of flawless back-and-forth, Sherlock dropping to his knees on the mattress, the sheets rustling beneath them. The bed's unmade, naturally, why wouldn't it be, and as such, they aren't messing up any pre-existing order by getting comfortable side by side. He ends up mostly on his side, lying down more fully than John, who's maintained some high ground still by resting on his elbow. Looking up at him, Sherlock holds his gaze for a moment. This is one of the reasons (one of several) why he never bothers with sex - it's an endless analytic hellhole, trying to decipher who's doing what at which turn, who's waiting on who, which body parts are going... where. This time around, he skips most of it, going only as far as to deduce that between the two of them, it's really only a matter of who acts first, the rest of the story tends to write itself. Doesn't it, John? ]
Come on.
[ He emphasises his words by reaching out, fingers curling around John's wrist and pulling him closer, down towards himself, trying to avoid their legs getting all entangled and probably failing. But really, they're hardly going to get anywhere with one of them, hovering over the other (astral sex? ugh. some people truly are insane), and John's bound to show him differently if it doesn't work for him, surely. Regardless of how much he'll accept on a daily basis as Sherlock's flatmate, he's not by any means a pushover. He tries to imagine actually wasting his time, getting physical with someone like that and quickly dismisses the thought as completely and utterly ludicrous.
They've reached an interesting state of equilibrium, the two of them. John, with his limited experience in terms of sleeping with his own gender (I'm not gay, he says, and Sherlock quite agrees, because really, John may not know too many things but regarding this, his own proclivities, at least, he ought to be the only available expert), Sherlock with his limited, sexual frequency. Drugs, yes and thank you, because they tend to be a wholly solitary indulgence. Sex? Is complicated. A chemical redundancy. So here they are, then, balancing each other out which is so typical, he can't help but smile at the thought, a very understated expression that fades before it reaches his eyes. ]
[ They end up next to each other on the unmade bed, because you wouldn't rightly expect Sherlock Holmes to make his bed like a grown-up (or, if you would, you'd be a fool), John resting on his elbow and Sherlock lying down beside him, striking some kind of balance that isn't disturbed until Sherlock says come on and closes his fingers around John's wrist, pulling him down on top of him (and even then, the balance only settles into something else, a different distribution of weight). He follows along willingly, frowning while trying to settle into a comfortable position, their legs entangled and fronts sliding over one another, naked chests pressing together and stomachs and lower bodies -- and John holds himself up slightly with one arm against the mattress next to Sherlock's shoulder, the man's hair a mess of dark curls against the sheets, framing in his face, turned towards him. His lips curve in a smile, briefly.
Okay, so obviously it's not actually the coat's fault, how he works his cheekbones when flipping up his collar, it's just a thing, because his hair emphasises their sharpness in much the same manner, making John want to kiss him again and nothing's been stopping him so far, least of all Sherlock, so there. He makes a non-verbal sound, leaning down and pressing his mouth to the other man's, not really waiting for the build-up this time, they've passed that point already, right, instead simply parting his lips and slipping him the tongue. Sherlock's mouth is hot and wet and it feels -- no less incredible than it had the first time. Except, lo and behold, John is much less drunk now and can actually take a certain pleasure in it.
Eyes falling shut, he keeps his weight on his side, running his free hand down Sherlock's left arm, following it from shoulder to elbow before changing directions and instead pressing it flatly against his midriff. Here's the thing about John Watson, John Watson really likes foreplay which has always been a very good preference to keep, because women (...), but without making comparisons he likes the pace they've struck now, Sherlock and him, he likes that he's unmistakably hard, but not rushing, not yet. He likes that Sherlock doesn't make a repeat of Johnny who'd been jerking him off before he'd even been out of his pants. He likes this. Maybe he should be surprised, maybe he shouldn't.
Slipping his hand further down, fingers sliding beneath the waistband of Sherlock's underpants and hooking in the fabric lightly, he inhales heavily through his nose, breaking away from the kiss once more and pushing his mouth against the side of Sherlock's neck instead, lips parted, tongue licking a heated traill from earlobe and down. ]
[ The pace kicks up a notch without slipping into hurried or desperate which is quite a relief. Though he's got a sharp brain, it's not actually keeping up at its usual speed of processing right now and with John taking his sweet time, at least he isn't actively falling behind. Instead, his mind is being positively flooded with hormones and thank god everything in there's so thoroughly connected or he'd be without a sensible thought when John licks a trail from his earlobe and down his neck. He cranes his neck slightly, into that warm, wet touch of his tongue and runs his hand up John's arm, fingers locking tightly around his biceps. Shifting slightly on his back, he turns his head enough to press his lips against whatever he can reach of John's head. Warm skin, hair, the faint smell of burberry (aftershave, lasts around three hours, never meant to make it home with anyone, obvious). He inhales, greedily.
He probably shouldn't be thinking about this doing sex - another one of his problems, certainly, he can't rightly just shut it off, now can he - but even as John's hand travels across his stomach, dipping lower and slipping beneath the hem of his pants, he can't help but shift a bit restlessly against him, wondering whether they're doing this as an extension of their normal status quo - or whether they'll be waking up to a new world tomorrow. The past month certainly hasn't been all that different from normal but then again, they've been very purposefully fighting this thing off. Badly, yes. Certainly. But they've tried.
Biting his lip and re-focusing, he tightens his hand slightly around John's arm for a second before running his palm up over his shoulder, settling near the nape of his neck. Every pressure of John's body against his, be it the slide of naked skin against naked skin or his fingertips, ghosting over his lower abdomen, is making him simultaneously less perceptive and more desperate for clarity. It's an impossible enterprise, searching for answers when you don't even know where to look, and as he pushes up slightly against John's hand, he gives up trying to make sense of it for now, knowing full well that he'll be doing some extensive follow-up when they're done and - biologically, he'd like to state, for the record - incapable of caring much either way. ]
[ A sharp tint of Everyday Life w/ Sherlock Holmes is still clinging to Sherlock's skin, the smell of something burnt (beetles, the man said, no need to think too much about that), as well as disinfectant and a more neutral soap-like scent attacking John's nostrils when he runs his lips down the side of his neck, but there's also (at this point, naturally) the smell of sweat and him, darker and duskier than his cheekbones and perpetually young features might have fooled you into expecting. John breathes in deeply, filling as many as his currently activated sensory organs as possible with the presence of him, tongue tingling from the soft taste of his skin, the back of his neck tingling from his touch. He's pretty much everywhere, but with Sherlock, you'd be stupid not to know -- that's how it works. That's what he does. This is how they do it, apparently.
It's good. He likes it, he likes it a lot, in fact.
Cock straining against his own underpants, John manages to angle his fingers enough to slip Sherlock's down over his hard-on without any too embarrassing incidents of catch me if you can. He inches to the side, baring the other man's lower body in an effort to push the right now rather offending underwear down his thighs, waiting for Sherlock to take over and finish the process himself. He's very talented at finishing processes, even when he shouldn't, even when it involves spiking John's coffee or leaving him behind at a crime scene without a backwards glance, but if nothing else you can always count on Sherlock to lead you towards the finish line and if there was ever a time the finish line looked more appealing than now, John can't remember it (though, to be fair, right now he doesn't even remember three hours ago very well).
He pushes back against the other man's lips, the muscles of his arm, then his shoulder and his neck flexing beneath his grip when he tilts his head to the side a little to meet the kiss. From this angle he can't actually see much, when he glances down, there's a flat expanse of chest and a hint of stomach, but the rest is obscured and he swallows thickly, shifting to the side a little to catch sight of Sherlock's cock that he's currently busy freeing and the funny thing (well, funny's a deceptive word, he supposes) is that not even once during his -- thing with Johnny, did he look down. Not once. ]
[ Seeing as John obviously isn’t planning on moving enough to finish the motion himself, Sherlock takes the hint from him with a fluency that doesn’t usually characterise their interaction - they aren’t relying on obscure social cues at this very moment and he’s glad of it, because he hates stumbling towards the finish line in all aspects of life. Shifting his hips and reaching down with his free hand, he pushes his underpants down the rest of the way and notices only afterwards what an absolute relief it is, to be free from their restraint. With some rather inelegant shuffling of feet, he kicks them off completely, possibly kicking John in the process because he’s got really long legs and they’re basically all over each other, him and John, it’s rather hard to avoid touching, for better and for worse.
Besides, with John taking up so much of his direct line of vision, surely he can be forgiven for a slight amount of disorientation. That, and the fact that the feel of his lips is driving him to complete distraction. Eyes blinking shut (again - when did he even open them in the first place?), he shifts up against him more fully again, ignoring their tangle of limbs for the sake of body contact, heat, the slight dampness of skin, and if he shifts his hips like this - oh god - the hard length of his cock sliding up against John’s thigh, the friction making him gasp out against his lips. He can’t remember when he last got off without the help of his hand - it’s a bodily urge, really, and in general he’ll satisfy it as quickly and as time-efficiently as he can because it tends to mean so very little in any case.
Though he’s loath to associate himself with romantic inclinations of any sort, he’d be an idiot - well and truly - to file this away with the rest of his meaningless, bodily experiences. For one thing, he can’t currently stop sensing John, from his scent to the firmness of his skin to the strength of his muscles and the weight of his body against his; there’s no immediate categorisation, it’s just a slew of inputs and he’d classify it as sensory assault if it didn’t feel so bloody good. Thus, he kisses him back almost ferociously, teeth gracing his bottom lip completely on purpose and his nails digging into his back. Shifts his hips again, just so, because he doesn’t know whether John’s actually planning on touching his cock to get him off and he’s not going to beg for it, either. Freeing one hand, he reaches down between them and cubs him through his underpants, pressing his palm upwards, a slow, rubbing-motion. ]
[ Losing his underpants is somewhat of a struggle under which Sherlock manages to kick John not just once, but twice with his longer than is undoubtedly legal legs in the efforts to rid himself of the offending item of clothing. Not that John cares, he's much more focused on craning his neck to look down, waiting for the other man to shift forward enough that he can get a clear view of his cock as it -- slides up against his thigh, well, okay then, there's both touch and visuals at play now, the visual honestly surprisingly appealing, again, dr. John Watson isn't used to having an opinion about cocks, especially not cocks pressing in against his leg, but since it's Sherlock's (and since it's honestly a very attractive cock, but what would you expect, have you seen the man it's attached to) and since they're here, on Sherlock's bed, he'll admit that it's rather a tantalizing feeling, heated and damp and hard.
The other man gasps, John frowning slightly in concentration while returning to the kiss he left behind, meeting the sheer pressure of Sherlock's mouth, the hint of teeth (and is that nails against his back, bloody hell) with a firm push of tongue, up against the underside of Sherlock's. It's wet and hot and his cock is so undeniably present against John's thigh that he can't think about anything else, not even the way his own cock is straining against the cotton of his underpants, fighting for its freedom and haven't they all been there, mate?
Shifting underneath his weight, Sherlock frees one hand and reaches in between them, cupping John's cock through the fabric and rubbing up, making John break away from the kiss to pant hoarsely against his cheek (stupid cheekbone stretching out beneath his lips). The man's hand is bigger than he's used to, the long expanse of palm and outstretched fingers and he could probably jerk him off with ease -- It's a rush through his system, an actual, aggressive forward motion of his hips, along with the hard pumping of blood that makes his skin burn, John more or less shoving his own hand downside Sherlock's to press his sweaty palm against the other man's jutting hipbone. Deciding to just start from the -- root of the matter, he runs his hand in one searching motion over the bulge of balls to the base of Sherlock's cock, curling his fingers around it loosely, softly, his knuckles sliding along the heated skin of his own thigh in the process.
They're lying so close together that they're practically breathing in one another's exhalations, circulating air, their combined scents and tastes, between them and it feels -- homely. It feels safe. Even if John has absolutely no idea what he's doing, it still feels better than with Johnny earlier tonight and by no means does it feel worse than any woman he's ever slept with. Something he might have to wonder about. After. Later. ]
[ Oh. He sucks in a startled breath as John's fingers close around the length of his cock and his hips still, as he takes a moment to gather his composure. He's got large hands, John, large and relatively sturdy, capable of handling both medical tools and assault rifles with equal competence; and as of now, he's adding surprisingly gentle to the list of attributes, you wouldn't honestly know about the rest of the list if this was all you knew (good thing they met in a lab at Bart's, really, and not like this - his John-deduction would have been a lot less impressive). He lies still, breathing in and exhaling shakily.
It hits him suddenly. Here they are, in his bed, and John's probably done experimenting (dull sex with dull people apparently doesn't appeal to him - who would have thought?), though it's hard to say what they're calling this, in turn. To Sherlock, it's definitely not an experiment, has ceased being anything even approaching it for a good many hours. For one, he's got no idea what he'd supposedly be testing out. He can't tell his variables apart. There isn't anything to hold it up against, perhaps aside from the empty nothing that came before John. He's not so certain he truly wants to compare the two.
Drawing in another breath, this time deeper and less trembling, he pulls his hand away, pushing John slightly to make enough room for him to bring it up to his lips. He meets John's eyes for a brief moment, knowing full well that his expression isn't quite as cool as it normally is (blown-out pupils, for one thing - for certain - and then, there's the fact that he can't seem to catch his breath), then licks a heavy trail across his palm. He can taste John's arousal on himself already, as surely as he can smell it between them, and in response, his cock gives a happy jerk between John's fingers that he really can't be responsible for at this very moment. Instead, he reaches down again, unceremoniously, and pushes his hand underneath the waistband of John's underpants. His palm glides slickly over the hard length of John's cock, from head and all the way to its base. It doesn't take much more than a twitch of his wrist to free him from the confines of fabric and at this point, if John can't tell he's done this before, he really should be shot.
[ He is about to do something, is John, really, move, when Sherlock withdraws his hand again, making the muscles in John's thighs tighten in response as he does his best not to thrust forward too obviously at the sudden lack of touch, of stimulation. A slight shove to make room and John watches, transfixed, while Sherlock lifts his hand to his lips -- and licks a heavy trail across his own palm, gaze skirting away from John's while he does so, his blue eyes only showing off their dilated pupils for a second, but it's enough, the recognition of need going straight in his blood (not to mention, Sherlock is licking his palm, isn't he, where's John supposed to be looking, how is he supposed to react).
Between his fingers, Sherlock's cock twitches lightly, just a happy jerk which makes him tighten his grip a little around the other man's shaft. He reminds himself that he really should have spat into his palm before taking hold of it, for the same reason that Sherlock is undoubtedly licking his hand now, moisture, slickness, slide, but he forgot and he doesn't get a chance to mirror Sherlock before the other man has reached down again, slipping his hand quite effortlessly into his underwear and gripping his length, a tight, wet glide of palm against already damp skin all the way down to the base.
John forgets to breathe. Head falling forward, he can't seem to get the air deeply enough down his lungs, exhaling harshly through his nose while fighting (fighting) not to add any ridiculous sound effects to his surprise. Shit, it's good. It feels absolutely right -- and Sherlock even manages to wrench his way out of John's pants one-handedly which is actually quite a feat and obviously, so very obviously, not beginner's luck. It reminds him of how Johnny had squeezed his hand down the front of his jeans like the room wasn't a very limited affair, like it was no big deal, like he'd done it a thousand times before and he questions, not for the first time tonight, how much exactly he should have read into girlfriends not being Sherlock's area back then. Not that it matters. What was it John himself had said in response, it's all good. Probably rings truer now than ever, to be honest.
As it is, he needs to get his palm wet. It'll be better that way and he needs it to be exactly this good for Sherlock, too. By now, he has given up on not simply breathing through his mouth, and releases Sherlock's cock to raise his hand -- first to his own mouth, but mostly on a whim he quirks an eyebrow and turns his attention on Sherlock, pretty much shoving his open palm in his face with a trembling, hoarse-sounding: ]
Care to sign this one, too?
[ He even gives his hand a little shake, Sherlock's own scent probably stark in his nostrils like this and you're welcome. He can thank him later, in the same way John fully intends to show him his gratitude in return. ]
[ He's about to set a rhythm of some sort, manages a slow slide up the length of John's cock when the man lets go of him (don't do that, why would you do that) and he's about to complain, he really is, when John does something utterly unexpected. Isn't it beautiful - the unexpected? Just so. For a good many seconds, he just stares at the hand in front of his face and John smells of him, almost irrevocably so, it's rather good. This whole, entire thing. Eyes narrowing slightly, he meets John's gaze head-on. Care to sign this one, too? Such a John-thing to say, really, bloody action hero. One deep breath, then another, the scent of arousal and sex making his blood pound faster yet - then, quite succinctly, he pulls his hand way from where it's currently resting between John's shoulder blades (leaving five half-moon shaped marks in its wake, though they won't notice that until morning). Grabbing hold of the other man's wrist firmly, he pulls it closer to his mouth, leans in and licks his palm. Slowly. And steadily.
He doesn't mind the taste of his own sex overly much, though he's quite quick to distinguish between what's his and what's John; there's an spiced-up kind of saltiness to him, something clean but insistent and he's got no other words, really, for what is, ultimately, just a mix of inherent and contextually-induced chemical connections. He's making things up, he realises very belatedly, and draws back slightly, the taste of skin and sweat heavy on his tongue. Fantastical thoughts. Mirages. Tomorrow, no doubt, he'll have to scold himself very thoroughly for giving into flights of fancy just because he's suddenly so very close to getting off with John, just because he's been wanting to do that for a lot longer than the past month and pushed it aside as both commonplace and impossible.
For now, however, he'll take his rush and enjoy it for what it's worth, for as long as it lasts. ]
Can't help you with the next bit, though. Best get moving.
[ He's forcing some semblance of calm and stability into his voice, but it still sounds ragged to his ears. Breathing coming out distinctively shallow, his balls already tightening up almost painfully, he starts jerking John off more readily now, his hand running up and down the shaft of his cock, keeping the foreskin pulled up, his thumb rubbing firmly along the underside. He's going by assumption rather than experience, here; if, percentage-wise, this is how most men prefer their handjobs (some google-research may or may not feature into this assessment), surely there's a good chance John will be satisfied, too. And if not, well, he can let him know. They are, after all, within speaking distance. ]
[ For a long moment, the other man just stares at his hand like he doesn't know what to do with it and there's a deadpan second in which John wonders whether he'll have to explain the idea further, after all, Sherlock can be pretty dim, they're talking about the man with no knowledge of the solar system here. And of course he means dim in the relative sense, since Sherlock is undeniably very clever and very amazing and what have you, but also a complete, arrogant sod. Finally, as if to prove a point, he grabs hold of John's wrist with his free hand, leaning in and licking a very hot, wet trail up his palm, the movement slow and steady, deliberate. Rather sexy, too -- and Sherlock knows it, you can tell, just as John's body definitely knows. His balls are tightening up between his thighs and Sherlock's fingers around his shaft are pretty much leaving him burning up. He hears himself breathing out, a long, ragged exhalation, before pulling his hand out of the other man's grip, just in time for Sherlock to start sliding his other hand up and down again with a nonchalant (if very breathy), best get moving.
He can't help him with the next bit. Because the next bit... obviously...
Swallowing thickly, John has to concentrate very hard (very hard, indeed) on reaching down between them, curling his now plenty-slick fingers around the base of Sherlock's cock and dragging upwards, feeling the actually very -- appealing contrast of soft, soft skin and the hardness of the erectile tissue underneath. He blinks a few times, finding it difficult (borderline impossible) to actually focus on establishing anything just remotely resembling a rhythm when Sherlock is jerking him off. So very efficiently. A half-groan as Sherlock's thumb rubs up along the underside in that way which usually gets him a tiny bit dizzy, his field of vision narrowing down noticeably, everything turning transparent and unimportant around the edges, his world suddenly consisting largely (only) of Sherlock's hand on his cock and his body stretched out below his own. Keeping himself up on his arm, muscles straining visibly in his upper arm, John is feeling sweaty and damp and overheated and -- very, very turned on, more turned on than he's been in ages and he had sex four hours ago.
Well, he knows whom to thank.
The second groan is louder, deeper and he bends his head enough to catch Sherlock's bottom lip between his teeth, hoping to God that kissing the other man will help him keep quiet. His hips are beginning to push forward at an interval now, a series of quite desperate thrusts, trying to meet Sherlock's hand halfway there, halfway there... His other hand, fingers tightening around Sherlock's cock, hasn't struck a rhythm yet, but he has managed to angle his wrist enough to add some speed to the pacing of his sliding motions. Some friction to every glide. The silence is echoing from the very telltale sound of skin slapping against skin. Handjobs are audibly recognisable things, after all.
[ Well. There's another statistic for you, it seems. Lip tingling, Sherlock breaks the kiss after a few seconds, very much breathless, and watches John's face, gaze sliding down, past his trembling arm and his upper body, damp with sweat. Downwards, even further, to where their hands are moving very much out of sync, Sherlock setting a somewhat even pace while John's clearly in need of some relief before he can adequately contribute. His touch is sending small but significant shock-waves through him, however, and to be quite frank, Sherlock's not entirely displeased that John can't quite keep up just now, not for sake of gloating but because it leaves him better prepared to continue without losing concentration. Leaning his head back, brow furrowing lightly, he quickens the motion of his hand just a fraction, not to rush but to effect. Though he isn't looking at him, he can feel (feel, feel, feel, how insufferable, but right now he'll have to accept it) how John's falling apart slowly on top of him, and the thought is, quite honestly, intoxicating.
It doesn't surprise him that John's the type to keep quiet - or at least attempt it. He's not a man to toughen down out of nowhere, it's not just related to his time as a soldier, either. It's a character trait. Sherlock's not altogether sure about the science related to personality traits and temperament but surely, people are biology first and foremost, before anything else. He tightens his grip slightly around John's cock, just as his palm passes over the head, slipping downwards again immediately after. Repeat. And again.
He files that fact away along with all the rest, the veritable arsenal he's got on the other man, data that he doesn't know what to do with, except to keep assembling it. He can't stop, after all, one might as well request that he stop existing, and just because he's not like John - the differences are so many and so varied that he wouldn't know where to start with that particular list - he gasps out loud when John's hand manages a particularly perfect slide down his cock, perfect pressure, perfect pace, and it's just a little but so long as he keeps it up, it will certainly be too much, as well. He's sweating as well, the sheets feel crumbled and overheated beneath him. And John, above him, warm enough to leave him senseless. ]
[ Breaking the kiss after a few seconds and all but gasping for breath in its wake, Sherlock leans his head back, working blindly with his hand on John's cock which is really more than John can manage right now, the other way around, he's well aware and really not too proud to admit it, either. As far as keeping up any of the aspects of a really good handjob, he's doing a (if not piss-poor, then at least) rather average job of it. Sorry, Sherlock, in a moment -- Especially as the other man's grip on his cock tightens, falling into a very distinctive rhythm of palm sliding over the head (the glans getting a nice taste of friction that way, it's truly maddening, who bloody well taught him that anyway), John sort of loses it. Gasping well before Sherlock does, because he manages to land a good (lucky) stroke, John bucks up against the other man's hand, thrusting into the heated, tight space between his fingers, meeting every repetition of the movement that he's got on offer, seeing as it's driving him up the wall, sweat running down the back of his neck and pooling in the dips of muscle along his shoulders. Oh, it's good, it's bloody amazing and Sherlock better not decide he needs a case now, because if he runs off anywhere within the span of the next minute, John will hunt him down and shoot him dead. No doubt about it. No doubt whatsoever. Don't joke with a man and his orgasm.
His every exhalation sounding loud and harsh in the relative stillness of the room, John swallows thickly and looks down at Sherlock, narrowing his eyes while he follows the outline of his features - brow and nose and lips and stupid cheekbones, yes, it's all there, no part of his face has escaped him since they begun, so they better end it on the same note, everything intact, right? He groans, louder this time around, and drops his head enough to rest his forehead against Sherlock's shoulder, trying for the blind approach and just kind of feeling out his cock between his fingers. It's hard and hot and if he uses his thumb the same way Sherlock did, maybe there's another lucky stroke in the mix somewhere. He really enjoys the feeling of him, though, the volume of it, a different kind of weight than his own and the smoothness beneath his fingertips. How many times has he denied being gay since he started living with Sherlock and here he is, waxing poetics about a cock, but then again, it isn't just any cock, it's Sherlock's and honestly, if he's gay for Sherlock, John Watson will be grandly okay with that.
Balls tightening up rather forebodingly now, he breathes out against the outline of Sherlock's clavicle and shifts forward abruptly, his hips working mostly on their own at this point. It's really only bearing in one direction now and it's fine, it's good, it's -- very good. Who'd have thought, but it is and he definitely not one to turn down a good thing. Without Sherlock he'd still be on his own and that's possibly the dreariest thought he could come up with in a near-climax situation, so he abandons it and focuses on -- meeting -- Sherlock's fingers -- just right. ]
[ There's a shift, slight but significant, as John starts thrusting into his hand, looking down at him for a moment before dropping his forehead against his shoulder. His hair tickles Sherlock's jaw and if he turns his head a fraction, his lips as well. So he does. He doesn't let up on the rhythm of his hand, mostly because they seem to be reaching some sort of unspoken consensus now and god, John's getting it too, isn't he, he's probably... thinking less, doing more... as is really the best look on him in all situations... Sherlock groans, loudly, lips trailing aimlessly across John's brow until there's hair in his mouth. He doesn't care. It tastes like John, really, without any hints of the shampoo he uses in the shower; there's a faint trace of smokiness to it, though, from the club no doubt. Mouth stilling against John's temple, he shifts his hips upwards and John's hand is currently at the most perfect angle for this, it hits all the right notes every time... every time...
He can feel his balls drawing up now (has to be approximately 60 seconds away from orgasm now, him, not John, John is closer yet, surely or maybe he's once again managed to fall into step with him, how does he do that, how), eyes screwing shut as he uses his other hand to grasp onto John's shoulder, fingers digging into his skin and pulling him closer. Yes, his body is definitely racing towards climax now and he's not about to pause it, really, when has he ever waited on anyone, but he makes sure to slip his thumb across the naked head of John's cock a few times, smearing precum along the shaft, just to speed him up. Yes, for him it's a fundamental condition more than it is situational or rare - that he tends to be the first (to come first, haha, ugh) in most matters because he's faster than most other people, that it leaves him mostly alone, too, because most other people can't be bothered to play catch-up every second of their lives.
When his orgasm finally bursts out of him, long, pulsing sparks of pleasure racing down the length of his cock, spilling over John's hand and between their bodies, he's got his eyes closed and his hand firmly working John's cock, mind going blissfully blank. For the briefest little second, exceptionally unimportant in the grand scheme of things, all he can really think is John because the man is everywhere at once. Enough even, that he breathes out his name, his hand tightening almost convulsively against his shoulder. There's nothing but blank emptiness behind his eyelids, though, and he lets himself drown in it just now, saving all eventual regrets for later. As with a very decent high, there's a low afterwards and he's no less prepared to face it now than when he actively chooses it. This time, however, it's not wholly up to him and it's very hard to figure out if the thought's a comfort or just flat-out terrifying so he doesn't waste any time on it. Pushes it aside. And waits for his muscles to come down. ]
[ It isn't exactly necessary, John is pretty sure he'd have climaxed without the additional burst of pleasure as Sherlock uses his precum to smear along the shaft of his cock, but John certainly welcomes it all the same. That extra bamf. That extra rush of heat and pleasure -- as well as his balls drawing up forcefully as he comes in long, harsh jerks against the other man's palm, spending himself in spurts of cum between Sherlock's fingers, leaving strings of it across his lower body. Sherlock's lips are pressing in against his temple, his nearness a comfortable scent in his nostrils, the heat of his body, the feeling of his breath messing up John's hair, though it's nowhere near a length where it'll truly suffer from it, unlike (say) Sherlock's own. John is breathing raggedly in against Sherlock's shoulder, leaving his skin moist from his exhalations, his arm finally giving up the battle it's been enduring this entire time, giving out at the elbow and leaving him pretty much sprawled out on top of him, no real support to uphold any distance between their bodies. Which is fine, he supposes, Sherlock just came, too.
They weren't completely in sync, but definitely closer than John has ever managed with any of his other sex partners and for someone who was fumbling his way through the entire thing, he thinks a round of congratulations is in order, really, maybe a pat on the back. Besides, Sherlock's cock feels sticky and spent in his grip now (he's not been a good doctor today, they should definitely have used condoms for this) and there's an echo of his name hanging between them, in the other man's deep voice, because Sherlock breathed it out just a second ago, with a softness that's otherwise uncharacteristic of him. Facts and figures, for Sherlock Holmes. Never anything that sounds remotely like poetry.
Waiting for the last tremors of the other man's orgasm to subside, John doesn't withdraw his hand right away, but when he does he dries it off blindly in the sheets, turning onto his side before reaching up to press a still sex-reeking palm to his face. His breathing has calmed down a bit. He doesn't sound like an ad for the London Marathon anymore. If anything, he sounds like he's been jogging after Sherlock all afternoon and that isn't strictly wrong either, so he'll take it. He'll take this. He lets his hand fall away from his face and glances at Sherlock across the really unimportant distance between them currently, licking his lips and wondering whether he's at a position where he can fully trust the use of his voice again. His entire body feels forcibly relaxed, his muscles buzzing from endorphins and whatever else kind of crap his system is releasing right now. What does he know, he's only a professional. ]
If I ask you why we haven't done this before, will you be able to not answer me honestly?
[ He comes down from it gradually, forcing his eyes open mostly in response to John's question. His hand feels sticky with cum, as does the sheets and his lower abdomen but he can't be arsed to move or wipe it off, so he leaves it to dry in splotchy patterns instead. They'll need to shower in the morning anyhow, it hardly matters now. Breathing returning only slowly to its regular rhythm, he glances sideways at the other man, gaze raking over his features for a few seconds. Sated, most of all. Licking his lips, alright, a tinge of something else in the afterglow, possibly 1) missing-condom regret or 2) just general bafflement at having done this when about five weeks ago, it wouldn't even cross his mind. None of those are truly worrisome issues and he leaves them hanging (unless, of course, John-the-Second came with STDs in which case John-the-First will lose absolutely every point he's managed to gain tonight), clearing his throat and glancing upwards at the ceiling. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette right now... ]
I am always able. [ He shrugs. ] You already know why, can't see why I'd waste my time pointing it out. [ In his mind, he ticks the boxes anyway: social norms and expectations; the effect of trauma on sexual identity and personal narratives, a drive towards the safety in what's already known and familiar and accepted; you think you want normalcy, john, but that doesn't mean you need it. He sighs, audibly. ] The non-honest answer would be that I don't know.
[ He stretches lazily, feet almost popping off the bed in the process. As a natural consequence of orgasm, he feels incredibly, bonelessly tired and he really ought to go and wash up somewhat, do something to prepare for bed but he's already in it and in less than a minute he'll be half-asleep, so really. He stays exactly where he is, his shoulder touching John's front, the smell and feel of him everywhere still in his sensory systems, taking up space in a way that John so rarely does otherwise. He can allow it now. Of course he can. All thoughts of tomorrow - of onward, of consequences and regrets - feel distant, like his brain's given up on executive functioning for the night altogether. He shifts closer to John, just a fraction. ]
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His mind is still pending, however, contrary to his usual proclamations, he'd be prepared to venture a guess; that in the end, eventually, they'll align with each other quite perfectly. And isn't that just a suitable description? He breathes in, breathes out, loses count of the glass irregularities. Some of us need to just go by instinct. God, how terrible. How utterly strange.
And yet, here he is, trying to do exactly that. ]
I... yes.
[ He looks down. Then, he turns against John, the sudden lack of skin-on-skin contact another odd echo, lost for now but present, still, in his neural network. He reaches out again, one hand landing lightly on John's shoulder (the right one, bullet to the left, and he hadn't truly known, even if he said so, John knew he hadn't known but he'd humoured Sherlock anyway) and trailing upwards slowly, following the lines of his neck to the back of his head. There's a slight coarseness to his hair as it slips beneath his fingertips. Contact re-established, he thinks, just as he leans down and kisses him again, harder, more roughly. Insistently. In a few seconds, he'll be walking them backwards towards his bed unless John sets them off first - it's not a matter of sequences or order, just two possibilities, thrown into the air because surely, between the two of them, they can afford the liberty. ]
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Fine, it'll be like this, will it?
Eyes shut, lips parting and tongue slipping over Sherlock's lower lip, he starts backing up against (what he sincerely hopes is the direction of) the bed, hands coming up to bury into the fabric of the other man's prissy shirt and dragging him forward, with him. He smells like an intricate map of his day so far, like smoke and burned beetles, disinfectant and a slight hint of soap, very little fresh air, you could basically map out Sherlock's every move today just by the smell of him (but then again, that's why he has a tendency to sniff people, however inappropriate it is). That's how he gets his stories. His data. John just really -- well, loves the laboratory-ish feel of it, how his work hangs around him even now, even here. How you can't escape it and you'd be a right fool to want to, to try.
He tastes familiar, too. Already, he tastes like -- well, he's not going to say it, no. There's no reason to jinx it.
The back of his knees making contact with the edge of Sherlock's bed, John comes to a halt, their chests sliding up against each other through the fabric of their shirts. He pushes his tongue in between the other man's lips, craving that heat, the warmth of him while he fumbles for a moment for the buttons on his shirt, beginning to unbutton it from the middle and down. Sherlock will simply have to fix the upper half of the row, won't he, isn't that the heights he usually frequents anyway? Bloody beanpole. ]
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Raising an eyebrow at John - How do you dress yourself in the morning?, it says, quite plainly - he unbuttons the rest of his shirt. As he slips it over his shoulders, down his arms and off, he realises that this is significantly different from two days ago, back when he walked around shirtless in the kitchen to test out John's response to his body. Right now, the variables really are... all over the place. He can hardly gauge them all, let alone control them. As he drops the shirt onto the floor, a heap of cool green against the floorboards, he straightens slightly and gives John a look. It's not a challenge. Really, he doesn't know what it is, but there's heat behind it. Intent.
Without further ado, he crouches down to untie his shoes because they're Italian leather and very unlikely to accept him trying to just wrestle his feet out of them, unloosened. It takes him all of five seconds (Sherlock was seven years old before he learned to tie and untie his own shoes - too much other data to care about, too little incentive to acquire this particular skill, at least until it became outright embarrassing, letting Mycroft tie them for him). As he straightens up again, he slips off his socks and stands there, barefoot, the air in the bedroom cool. There's a draft, he thinks, from the window. Definitely leaky. He doesn't much feel it, never has, though there are patches of goosebumps rising along the length of his arms and shoulders. ]
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Aaaaaand -- it doesn't really help, when Sherlock then proceeds to crouch down to untie his shoes, bringing himself on a rather perfect level with John's cock which is coming back to life after its journey up the stairs in tight jeans. He swallows thickly, deciding that he should really do something with himself in the meantime, just to bring attention away from how he's slowly hardening in his trousers again, breathing deeply through parted lips while stepping out of his own shoes and socks messily, kicking them off to the side to join the ranks of Sherlock's shirt, his socks and his shoes. It's cool in the bedroom, like there's a draft somewhere and although he's far from cold, he can see goosebumps rising on Sherlock's shoulders, his arms, his -- nipples hardening slightly and isn't that just lovely? Lovely. Great. He licks his lips and meets the other man's eyes when he's straightened up fully, shifting from one foot to the other. Impatiently. He need to get out of his shirt, honestly (keep up, keep up), but he'd much rather keep looking.
After all, it feels like there's half a lifetime he hasn't yet actually seen, doesn't it? It feels like Sherlock is making up for it, wholly. ]
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Either that, or he's busy contemplating something thoroughly taxing for the average mind, such as the meaning of life.
Sherlock rates it a 98/2 probability mostly because he's never actually had anyone lose their focus so completely, just because he took his clothes off in front of them. Hard to know anything for certain when you're crossing uncharted territory. ]
John.
[ He steps closer. Closer yet. Then, close enough that he could kiss him again just by leaning forward (and down, because John is quite short) another inch, he reaches out and hooks his fingers into the waistband of the other man's jeans. A slight pull towards himself, feeling the hardness of John's erection against his thigh - and the thought of it, of John just standing here, gawking at him because he... wants him (he's counting on the 98 rather strongly here) is making him hot all over, heat pooling in his lower stomach, his cock hardening in response. Distantly, he reminds himself that this thing could very well spiral out of control to an extent as to become irretrievable, pushes the thought firmly aside and flips the button on John's jeans open. ]
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[ What it is, exactly, that he knows, he wouldn't be able to tell you, even if you asked politely and he were actually inclined to answer. It's just one of those things you say, apparently, when Sherlock Holmes hooks his fingers in the waistband of your jeans and pulls you up against him, half-hard cock and everything. John breathes in once, a long drag of air, then exhales just as deeply, slowly, looking up and meeting the other man's eyes. Blue. Very blue. Also, he's still very half-naked and there are pale expanses of chest and dark nipples and there's the column of neck, along with broad shoulders... In sum, there's Sherlock and they're standing so close that John could lick a trail from his collarbone to the thin stretch of skin covering his pulse point without having to move his head much at all. Tempting.
Instead, he reaches down and catches hold of the hem of his own shirt, deciding that they'll have to cooperate on this one like they do on pretty much everything else, thus Sherlock can undress the lower half of his body (he's absolutely more than welcome to, as a matter of fact) and John will deal with the upper half and they'll be done in a flash, right? Not that they're in a hurry, sure, but his cock is feeling very constricted and very needy and sometimes a man has to listen to his privates. Blinking, John drags the shirt over his head quickly, pulling his arms out of the sleeves and throwing the club-stinking piece of fabric off to the side, quickly forgotten in the shadows. The draft is making the hairs on his arm stand on end -- or that's Sherlock's doing, too, the reactions are difficult to tell apart. Whether you're too cold or too hot, really, sometimes your body doesn't distinguish very well.
Raising both eyebrows, he catches Sherlock's eyes, waiting for the other man to do his part -- well, besides looking good enough to eat, he's got that covered already. For some reason, his mind skips back to that night at the swimming pool, Sherlock ripping the bomb vest off, tearing at his clothes and John feeling the actual, very physical relief of not being strapped into his own looming death, telling him that he was glad there was no one around to see. People would talk. People will talk.
People do little else, Sherlock had replied and they'd laughed, somehow making almost dying not that bad of an experience. Honestly, he could have used the man around in Afghanistan. He could have used someone like him, long before... But they're here, now. It's fine. It might even be better than fine. He leaves Sherlock to fight his jeans on his own, reaching out with both hands and pressing them against the other man's stomach, fingers splayed out, palms overheated, fingertips digging in as he drags them downwards, thinking that he really shouldn't be the only one to lose his trousers in the process. ]
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One, hard push and he's shoving John's jeans down his thighs and really, from this angle, there's only one way to finish the movement - he is, after all, not a small person - so he drops to his knees in front of the other man and pulls the fabric downwards. He realises he's close enough to press his cheek against the hard bulge in John's underwear and refrains only by virtue of following a different plan, one that's going to lead to the same basic end result with fewer risks of awkwardness - such as, stumbling in your jeans whilst getting a blowjob. For example. He misses John's hands on his body already, though. That's a drawback he hadn't thought to consider.
All the same. Hands following the lines of John's thighs, his skin warm and slightly damp beneath his palms, he pushes the fabric down his legs, over hard knees, down the back of his calves, all the way to his ankles. His breathing remains steady, if a little bit too quick, as his brain starts mapping out everything about John's body worth acknowledging which (to nobody's surprise, surely) turns out to be, literally, everything. He doesn't take very long, the fabric pooling around John's feet and leaving him to step free of it on his own account. Instead, he sits back on his haunches and looks up at him, realising how rarely this actually happens - he's used to looking at John from up above, isn't he? Where John seems to position him, too, because he's such a fallible, stupid, lovable person and it's really quite hard not to get... accustomed to it. ]
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It occurs to him that although he basically (and really, basically might be the perfect word for it) shagged someone four hours ago, the experience now compared to then is so vastly different that it doesn't feel even remotely alike. Getting a quick handjob up against a hotel door by a stranger who didn't matter simply doesn't hold up to the visual of Sherlock (of all people) half a movement from sticking his face in his crotch. John breathes in, breathes out, then forces himself to step out of his trousers mostly by instinct, a courtesy, because the other man went to the trouble of getting them there.
It's not as fumbling as he might have expected it to be, this, them. Everything considered. John having slept with a man a total times of one (1) and Sherlock -- being married to his work, like he said back then, when it all began. Women, not his area. No boyfriend. John has just assumed that sex wasn't his thing, though he's learned from Sherlock himself, of course, that assuming is second only to trusting in faultiness. Meeting Sherlock's eyes when the man looks up at him, the angle of his face really putting those cheekbones on display, doesn't it, John shifts again, one foot to the other, jeans pushed well enough out of the way not to become a liability. At this point, he's so hard that half doesn't cover it anymore. Regardless, he smiles, slightly, doesn't really hesitate before reaching out with one hand and running his fingers through Sherlock's hair, from his bangs to the back of his head, one long caress of his hand. Whatever book the man has picked this particular trick up from, it's working and isn't that how he prefers his experiments anyway? ]
If this is what it's like having a short friend, I'm getting myself one.
[ He keeps a perfectly straight face, only one eyebrow quirking and not in the slightest. ]
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I'm very sorry. [ His voice comes out uncharacteristically breathy as he inches closer. ] Without the coat, John, you won't be getting anywhere.
[ He leans in, kissing the skin right above John's left knee, lips running up the inside of his thigh slowly. It's a brief touch, really, but the scent of sex - of arousal, sweat and naked skin - settles on his tastebuds all the same. If he were ever in any doubts as to whether or not he'd been endowed with a chemical set-up for these types of situations (sex - just say it, for god's sake), he'd be noting down a rather strong affirmation right now. He knows, of course. But not like this, never like this. He draws back after a few seconds, only inches away from the lining of John's underpants. He's almost forgotten about his own arousal, like he forgets about his bodily needs in general whenever his mind is otherwise occupied. Whilst trying to have sex with John, though, he probably should be paying at least some attention to them. Mind and body. Always connected, yes, but the balance is different.
He gets to his feet, taking care not to stumble about in the process. He needs these trousers off, now, and he's doing it himself because they've got buttons (well, one, singularis, who cares) and they don't have all night. Thus, he makes quick work of them, pushing them off along with his socks until, like John, he's down to his underpants. And then, he pauses. Looks at the other man again, gaze sharpening slightly in the darkness, the remnants of streetlight from outside flickering through the window and leaving John curiously lit, here and there, shadows and light. He likes that look on him. The quiet but undeniable restlessness of it.
Swallowing, he crosses the distance between them, puts his hands on John's naked shoulders and pushes him backwards. Onto the bed, he hopes, but he's not actually forcing as much as urging. Whilst he can certainly drug John for the sake of science (and has, more than once, though the man's yet to notice because the experiments were failures), he's not about to push him about. In a fair fight, he'd lose for the very same reason, too. Against this man, he is at least to some extent defenseless and there's a proof worth noting - that they both love risks. That they are indeed both addicted. ]
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[ And that is as far as John gets, because Sherlock leans in and kisses the skin above his left knee, lips running up the inside of his thigh, slowly, slowly, making goosebumps break out and a very slight twitch happen in his pants. His breath comes out in a gasp, the sound echoing in the silence, like a ghost of something unsaid in the stillness of the room. He doesn't know what he'd imagined, really, he might not have imagined anything specific at all, but a part of him is somewhat disappointed when Sherlock draws back and gets to his feet, growing taller than him once more. If nothing else, then just because being on his knees suited the man well (definitely better than John would have thought, say, a month ago), where you have to look down to hold his gaze rather than crane your bloody neck. However, he does make good use of this expansion to his range of movement, crawling (and naturally he'd need to crawl out of them, tight-fitting as they always are) out of his trousers and abandoning them along with his socks to the darkness across the floor, the entire process as efficient as you'd expect of him which is no doubt why he didn't leave it up to John, though John's got a steady hand and very nimble fingers when it counts. Which Sherlock knows, there's nothing left to prove in that regard.
In the faint light from the streets outside the windows, they're looking at each other in a play of shadows, a comfortable quiet settling between them again. Like a starting point, as well as an intermission and, somewhere ahead, it will undoubtedly define the finishing line, too.
John's eyes run down Sherlock's front like that, not really lingering, but taking him in as a whole. Certainly too thin, that's his professional opinion, but also certainly doable, as his body agrees. So, he doesn't move when Sherlock walks up to him, doesn't move when he puts his hands on his shoulders, doesn't move until he's being urged backwards, the bed right behind him and it seems the next logical step, to draw backwards until the back of his knees make contact with the edge of it. The rest comes naturally, sitting down and sliding into a halfway reclining position, keeping himself up on one elbow, reaching out with his free hand to close his fingers around Sherlock's arm and tugging him along. They'll probably end up a sprawl of limbs at some point anyway, why not sooner rather than later? He's very much in favour of increased physical contact now, more intimacy, because they need to start calling things by their actual names. "Friends" is wearing thin as a concept, when John's so hard it's beginning to hurt with Sherlock not far behind either, he noticed before. What they're going to call themselves henceforth, time will tell, but there must be available alternatives.
Have you seen the Oxford dictionaries? Huge. ]
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Come on.
[ He emphasises his words by reaching out, fingers curling around John's wrist and pulling him closer, down towards himself, trying to avoid their legs getting all entangled and probably failing. But really, they're hardly going to get anywhere with one of them, hovering over the other (astral sex? ugh. some people truly are insane), and John's bound to show him differently if it doesn't work for him, surely. Regardless of how much he'll accept on a daily basis as Sherlock's flatmate, he's not by any means a pushover. He tries to imagine actually wasting his time, getting physical with someone like that and quickly dismisses the thought as completely and utterly ludicrous.
They've reached an interesting state of equilibrium, the two of them. John, with his limited experience in terms of sleeping with his own gender (I'm not gay, he says, and Sherlock quite agrees, because really, John may not know too many things but regarding this, his own proclivities, at least, he ought to be the only available expert), Sherlock with his limited, sexual frequency. Drugs, yes and thank you, because they tend to be a wholly solitary indulgence. Sex? Is complicated. A chemical redundancy. So here they are, then, balancing each other out which is so typical, he can't help but smile at the thought, a very understated expression that fades before it reaches his eyes. ]
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Okay, so obviously it's not actually the coat's fault, how he works his cheekbones when flipping up his collar, it's just a thing, because his hair emphasises their sharpness in much the same manner, making John want to kiss him again and nothing's been stopping him so far, least of all Sherlock, so there. He makes a non-verbal sound, leaning down and pressing his mouth to the other man's, not really waiting for the build-up this time, they've passed that point already, right, instead simply parting his lips and slipping him the tongue. Sherlock's mouth is hot and wet and it feels -- no less incredible than it had the first time. Except, lo and behold, John is much less drunk now and can actually take a certain pleasure in it.
Eyes falling shut, he keeps his weight on his side, running his free hand down Sherlock's left arm, following it from shoulder to elbow before changing directions and instead pressing it flatly against his midriff. Here's the thing about John Watson, John Watson really likes foreplay which has always been a very good preference to keep, because women (...), but without making comparisons he likes the pace they've struck now, Sherlock and him, he likes that he's unmistakably hard, but not rushing, not yet. He likes that Sherlock doesn't make a repeat of Johnny who'd been jerking him off before he'd even been out of his pants. He likes this. Maybe he should be surprised, maybe he shouldn't.
Slipping his hand further down, fingers sliding beneath the waistband of Sherlock's underpants and hooking in the fabric lightly, he inhales heavily through his nose, breaking away from the kiss once more and pushing his mouth against the side of Sherlock's neck instead, lips parted, tongue licking a heated traill from earlobe and down. ]
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He probably shouldn't be thinking about this doing sex - another one of his problems, certainly, he can't rightly just shut it off, now can he - but even as John's hand travels across his stomach, dipping lower and slipping beneath the hem of his pants, he can't help but shift a bit restlessly against him, wondering whether they're doing this as an extension of their normal status quo - or whether they'll be waking up to a new world tomorrow. The past month certainly hasn't been all that different from normal but then again, they've been very purposefully fighting this thing off. Badly, yes. Certainly. But they've tried.
Biting his lip and re-focusing, he tightens his hand slightly around John's arm for a second before running his palm up over his shoulder, settling near the nape of his neck. Every pressure of John's body against his, be it the slide of naked skin against naked skin or his fingertips, ghosting over his lower abdomen, is making him simultaneously less perceptive and more desperate for clarity. It's an impossible enterprise, searching for answers when you don't even know where to look, and as he pushes up slightly against John's hand, he gives up trying to make sense of it for now, knowing full well that he'll be doing some extensive follow-up when they're done and - biologically, he'd like to state, for the record - incapable of caring much either way. ]
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It's good. He likes it, he likes it a lot, in fact.
Cock straining against his own underpants, John manages to angle his fingers enough to slip Sherlock's down over his hard-on without any too embarrassing incidents of catch me if you can. He inches to the side, baring the other man's lower body in an effort to push the right now rather offending underwear down his thighs, waiting for Sherlock to take over and finish the process himself. He's very talented at finishing processes, even when he shouldn't, even when it involves spiking John's coffee or leaving him behind at a crime scene without a backwards glance, but if nothing else you can always count on Sherlock to lead you towards the finish line and if there was ever a time the finish line looked more appealing than now, John can't remember it (though, to be fair, right now he doesn't even remember three hours ago very well).
He pushes back against the other man's lips, the muscles of his arm, then his shoulder and his neck flexing beneath his grip when he tilts his head to the side a little to meet the kiss. From this angle he can't actually see much, when he glances down, there's a flat expanse of chest and a hint of stomach, but the rest is obscured and he swallows thickly, shifting to the side a little to catch sight of Sherlock's cock that he's currently busy freeing and the funny thing (well, funny's a deceptive word, he supposes) is that not even once during his -- thing with Johnny, did he look down. Not once. ]
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Besides, with John taking up so much of his direct line of vision, surely he can be forgiven for a slight amount of disorientation. That, and the fact that the feel of his lips is driving him to complete distraction. Eyes blinking shut (again - when did he even open them in the first place?), he shifts up against him more fully again, ignoring their tangle of limbs for the sake of body contact, heat, the slight dampness of skin, and if he shifts his hips like this - oh god - the hard length of his cock sliding up against John’s thigh, the friction making him gasp out against his lips. He can’t remember when he last got off without the help of his hand - it’s a bodily urge, really, and in general he’ll satisfy it as quickly and as time-efficiently as he can because it tends to mean so very little in any case.
Though he’s loath to associate himself with romantic inclinations of any sort, he’d be an idiot - well and truly - to file this away with the rest of his meaningless, bodily experiences. For one thing, he can’t currently stop sensing John, from his scent to the firmness of his skin to the strength of his muscles and the weight of his body against his; there’s no immediate categorisation, it’s just a slew of inputs and he’d classify it as sensory assault if it didn’t feel so bloody good. Thus, he kisses him back almost ferociously, teeth gracing his bottom lip completely on purpose and his nails digging into his back. Shifts his hips again, just so, because he doesn’t know whether John’s actually planning on touching his cock to get him off and he’s not going to beg for it, either. Freeing one hand, he reaches down between them and cubs him through his underpants, pressing his palm upwards, a slow, rubbing-motion. ]
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The other man gasps, John frowning slightly in concentration while returning to the kiss he left behind, meeting the sheer pressure of Sherlock's mouth, the hint of teeth (and is that nails against his back, bloody hell) with a firm push of tongue, up against the underside of Sherlock's. It's wet and hot and his cock is so undeniably present against John's thigh that he can't think about anything else, not even the way his own cock is straining against the cotton of his underpants, fighting for its freedom and haven't they all been there, mate?
Shifting underneath his weight, Sherlock frees one hand and reaches in between them, cupping John's cock through the fabric and rubbing up, making John break away from the kiss to pant hoarsely against his cheek (stupid cheekbone stretching out beneath his lips). The man's hand is bigger than he's used to, the long expanse of palm and outstretched fingers and he could probably jerk him off with ease -- It's a rush through his system, an actual, aggressive forward motion of his hips, along with the hard pumping of blood that makes his skin burn, John more or less shoving his own hand downside Sherlock's to press his sweaty palm against the other man's jutting hipbone. Deciding to just start from the -- root of the matter, he runs his hand in one searching motion over the bulge of balls to the base of Sherlock's cock, curling his fingers around it loosely, softly, his knuckles sliding along the heated skin of his own thigh in the process.
They're lying so close together that they're practically breathing in one another's exhalations, circulating air, their combined scents and tastes, between them and it feels -- homely. It feels safe. Even if John has absolutely no idea what he's doing, it still feels better than with Johnny earlier tonight and by no means does it feel worse than any woman he's ever slept with. Something he might have to wonder about. After. Later. ]
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It hits him suddenly. Here they are, in his bed, and John's probably done experimenting (dull sex with dull people apparently doesn't appeal to him - who would have thought?), though it's hard to say what they're calling this, in turn. To Sherlock, it's definitely not an experiment, has ceased being anything even approaching it for a good many hours. For one, he's got no idea what he'd supposedly be testing out. He can't tell his variables apart. There isn't anything to hold it up against, perhaps aside from the empty nothing that came before John. He's not so certain he truly wants to compare the two.
Drawing in another breath, this time deeper and less trembling, he pulls his hand away, pushing John slightly to make enough room for him to bring it up to his lips. He meets John's eyes for a brief moment, knowing full well that his expression isn't quite as cool as it normally is (blown-out pupils, for one thing - for certain - and then, there's the fact that he can't seem to catch his breath), then licks a heavy trail across his palm. He can taste John's arousal on himself already, as surely as he can smell it between them, and in response, his cock gives a happy jerk between John's fingers that he really can't be responsible for at this very moment. Instead, he reaches down again, unceremoniously, and pushes his hand underneath the waistband of John's underpants. His palm glides slickly over the hard length of John's cock, from head and all the way to its base. It doesn't take much more than a twitch of his wrist to free him from the confines of fabric and at this point, if John can't tell he's done this before, he really should be shot.
Non-fatally. Obviously. ]
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Between his fingers, Sherlock's cock twitches lightly, just a happy jerk which makes him tighten his grip a little around the other man's shaft. He reminds himself that he really should have spat into his palm before taking hold of it, for the same reason that Sherlock is undoubtedly licking his hand now, moisture, slickness, slide, but he forgot and he doesn't get a chance to mirror Sherlock before the other man has reached down again, slipping his hand quite effortlessly into his underwear and gripping his length, a tight, wet glide of palm against already damp skin all the way down to the base.
John forgets to breathe. Head falling forward, he can't seem to get the air deeply enough down his lungs, exhaling harshly through his nose while fighting (fighting) not to add any ridiculous sound effects to his surprise. Shit, it's good. It feels absolutely right -- and Sherlock even manages to wrench his way out of John's pants one-handedly which is actually quite a feat and obviously, so very obviously, not beginner's luck. It reminds him of how Johnny had squeezed his hand down the front of his jeans like the room wasn't a very limited affair, like it was no big deal, like he'd done it a thousand times before and he questions, not for the first time tonight, how much exactly he should have read into girlfriends not being Sherlock's area back then. Not that it matters. What was it John himself had said in response, it's all good. Probably rings truer now than ever, to be honest.
As it is, he needs to get his palm wet. It'll be better that way and he needs it to be exactly this good for Sherlock, too. By now, he has given up on not simply breathing through his mouth, and releases Sherlock's cock to raise his hand -- first to his own mouth, but mostly on a whim he quirks an eyebrow and turns his attention on Sherlock, pretty much shoving his open palm in his face with a trembling, hoarse-sounding: ]
Care to sign this one, too?
[ He even gives his hand a little shake, Sherlock's own scent probably stark in his nostrils like this and you're welcome. He can thank him later, in the same way John fully intends to show him his gratitude in return. ]
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He doesn't mind the taste of his own sex overly much, though he's quite quick to distinguish between what's his and what's John; there's an spiced-up kind of saltiness to him, something clean but insistent and he's got no other words, really, for what is, ultimately, just a mix of inherent and contextually-induced chemical connections. He's making things up, he realises very belatedly, and draws back slightly, the taste of skin and sweat heavy on his tongue. Fantastical thoughts. Mirages. Tomorrow, no doubt, he'll have to scold himself very thoroughly for giving into flights of fancy just because he's suddenly so very close to getting off with John, just because he's been wanting to do that for a lot longer than the past month and pushed it aside as both commonplace and impossible.
For now, however, he'll take his rush and enjoy it for what it's worth, for as long as it lasts. ]
Can't help you with the next bit, though. Best get moving.
[ He's forcing some semblance of calm and stability into his voice, but it still sounds ragged to his ears. Breathing coming out distinctively shallow, his balls already tightening up almost painfully, he starts jerking John off more readily now, his hand running up and down the shaft of his cock, keeping the foreskin pulled up, his thumb rubbing firmly along the underside. He's going by assumption rather than experience, here; if, percentage-wise, this is how most men prefer their handjobs (some google-research may or may not feature into this assessment), surely there's a good chance John will be satisfied, too. And if not, well, he can let him know. They are, after all, within speaking distance. ]
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He can't help him with the next bit. Because the next bit... obviously...
Swallowing thickly, John has to concentrate very hard (very hard, indeed) on reaching down between them, curling his now plenty-slick fingers around the base of Sherlock's cock and dragging upwards, feeling the actually very -- appealing contrast of soft, soft skin and the hardness of the erectile tissue underneath. He blinks a few times, finding it difficult (borderline impossible) to actually focus on establishing anything just remotely resembling a rhythm when Sherlock is jerking him off. So very efficiently. A half-groan as Sherlock's thumb rubs up along the underside in that way which usually gets him a tiny bit dizzy, his field of vision narrowing down noticeably, everything turning transparent and unimportant around the edges, his world suddenly consisting largely (only) of Sherlock's hand on his cock and his body stretched out below his own. Keeping himself up on his arm, muscles straining visibly in his upper arm, John is feeling sweaty and damp and overheated and -- very, very turned on, more turned on than he's been in ages and he had sex four hours ago.
Well, he knows whom to thank.
The second groan is louder, deeper and he bends his head enough to catch Sherlock's bottom lip between his teeth, hoping to God that kissing the other man will help him keep quiet. His hips are beginning to push forward at an interval now, a series of quite desperate thrusts, trying to meet Sherlock's hand halfway there, halfway there... His other hand, fingers tightening around Sherlock's cock, hasn't struck a rhythm yet, but he has managed to angle his wrist enough to add some speed to the pacing of his sliding motions. Some friction to every glide. The silence is echoing from the very telltale sound of skin slapping against skin. Handjobs are audibly recognisable things, after all.
John likes it. Oh, he likes it very much. ]
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It doesn't surprise him that John's the type to keep quiet - or at least attempt it. He's not a man to toughen down out of nowhere, it's not just related to his time as a soldier, either. It's a character trait. Sherlock's not altogether sure about the science related to personality traits and temperament but surely, people are biology first and foremost, before anything else. He tightens his grip slightly around John's cock, just as his palm passes over the head, slipping downwards again immediately after. Repeat. And again.
He files that fact away along with all the rest, the veritable arsenal he's got on the other man, data that he doesn't know what to do with, except to keep assembling it. He can't stop, after all, one might as well request that he stop existing, and just because he's not like John - the differences are so many and so varied that he wouldn't know where to start with that particular list - he gasps out loud when John's hand manages a particularly perfect slide down his cock, perfect pressure, perfect pace, and it's just a little but so long as he keeps it up, it will certainly be too much, as well. He's sweating as well, the sheets feel crumbled and overheated beneath him. And John, above him, warm enough to leave him senseless. ]
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His every exhalation sounding loud and harsh in the relative stillness of the room, John swallows thickly and looks down at Sherlock, narrowing his eyes while he follows the outline of his features - brow and nose and lips and stupid cheekbones, yes, it's all there, no part of his face has escaped him since they begun, so they better end it on the same note, everything intact, right? He groans, louder this time around, and drops his head enough to rest his forehead against Sherlock's shoulder, trying for the blind approach and just kind of feeling out his cock between his fingers. It's hard and hot and if he uses his thumb the same way Sherlock did, maybe there's another lucky stroke in the mix somewhere. He really enjoys the feeling of him, though, the volume of it, a different kind of weight than his own and the smoothness beneath his fingertips. How many times has he denied being gay since he started living with Sherlock and here he is, waxing poetics about a cock, but then again, it isn't just any cock, it's Sherlock's and honestly, if he's gay for Sherlock, John Watson will be grandly okay with that.
Balls tightening up rather forebodingly now, he breathes out against the outline of Sherlock's clavicle and shifts forward abruptly, his hips working mostly on their own at this point. It's really only bearing in one direction now and it's fine, it's good, it's -- very good. Who'd have thought, but it is and he definitely not one to turn down a good thing. Without Sherlock he'd still be on his own and that's possibly the dreariest thought he could come up with in a near-climax situation, so he abandons it and focuses on -- meeting -- Sherlock's fingers -- just right. ]
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He can feel his balls drawing up now (has to be approximately 60 seconds away from orgasm now, him, not John, John is closer yet, surely or maybe he's once again managed to fall into step with him, how does he do that, how), eyes screwing shut as he uses his other hand to grasp onto John's shoulder, fingers digging into his skin and pulling him closer. Yes, his body is definitely racing towards climax now and he's not about to pause it, really, when has he ever waited on anyone, but he makes sure to slip his thumb across the naked head of John's cock a few times, smearing precum along the shaft, just to speed him up. Yes, for him it's a fundamental condition more than it is situational or rare - that he tends to be the first (to come first, haha, ugh) in most matters because he's faster than most other people, that it leaves him mostly alone, too, because most other people can't be bothered to play catch-up every second of their lives.
When his orgasm finally bursts out of him, long, pulsing sparks of pleasure racing down the length of his cock, spilling over John's hand and between their bodies, he's got his eyes closed and his hand firmly working John's cock, mind going blissfully blank. For the briefest little second, exceptionally unimportant in the grand scheme of things, all he can really think is John because the man is everywhere at once. Enough even, that he breathes out his name, his hand tightening almost convulsively against his shoulder. There's nothing but blank emptiness behind his eyelids, though, and he lets himself drown in it just now, saving all eventual regrets for later. As with a very decent high, there's a low afterwards and he's no less prepared to face it now than when he actively chooses it. This time, however, it's not wholly up to him and it's very hard to figure out if the thought's a comfort or just flat-out terrifying so he doesn't waste any time on it. Pushes it aside. And waits for his muscles to come down. ]
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They weren't completely in sync, but definitely closer than John has ever managed with any of his other sex partners and for someone who was fumbling his way through the entire thing, he thinks a round of congratulations is in order, really, maybe a pat on the back. Besides, Sherlock's cock feels sticky and spent in his grip now (he's not been a good doctor today, they should definitely have used condoms for this) and there's an echo of his name hanging between them, in the other man's deep voice, because Sherlock breathed it out just a second ago, with a softness that's otherwise uncharacteristic of him. Facts and figures, for Sherlock Holmes. Never anything that sounds remotely like poetry.
Waiting for the last tremors of the other man's orgasm to subside, John doesn't withdraw his hand right away, but when he does he dries it off blindly in the sheets, turning onto his side before reaching up to press a still sex-reeking palm to his face. His breathing has calmed down a bit. He doesn't sound like an ad for the London Marathon anymore. If anything, he sounds like he's been jogging after Sherlock all afternoon and that isn't strictly wrong either, so he'll take it. He'll take this. He lets his hand fall away from his face and glances at Sherlock across the really unimportant distance between them currently, licking his lips and wondering whether he's at a position where he can fully trust the use of his voice again. His entire body feels forcibly relaxed, his muscles buzzing from endorphins and whatever else kind of crap his system is releasing right now. What does he know, he's only a professional. ]
If I ask you why we haven't done this before, will you be able to not answer me honestly?
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I am always able. [ He shrugs. ] You already know why, can't see why I'd waste my time pointing it out. [ In his mind, he ticks the boxes anyway: social norms and expectations; the effect of trauma on sexual identity and personal narratives, a drive towards the safety in what's already known and familiar and accepted; you think you want normalcy, john, but that doesn't mean you need it. He sighs, audibly. ] The non-honest answer would be that I don't know.
[ He stretches lazily, feet almost popping off the bed in the process. As a natural consequence of orgasm, he feels incredibly, bonelessly tired and he really ought to go and wash up somewhat, do something to prepare for bed but he's already in it and in less than a minute he'll be half-asleep, so really. He stays exactly where he is, his shoulder touching John's front, the smell and feel of him everywhere still in his sensory systems, taking up space in a way that John so rarely does otherwise. He can allow it now. Of course he can. All thoughts of tomorrow - of onward, of consequences and regrets - feel distant, like his brain's given up on executive functioning for the night altogether. He shifts closer to John, just a fraction. ]
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